Garden State (2004)
Director: Zach Braff
Had I seen this before: Yes, when it first came out and full disclosure I'm pretty sure I liked it
Line I repeated quietly to myself: None, but I did say "Oh no" out loud several times
After my last post I didn't want it to seem like I just Okay Boomer-ed and ran--in the interest of fairness I thought it might be good to tackle another "generational" sort of hangout movie to show that in fact all generations are extremely annoying in their own way. This one would, I guess, be my generation specifically? I had just turned 24 when it came out, which seems to put me in range. (Side note: one of my most pointless personal obsessions is the fact that I fall directly in the crack between Gen X and Millennial and don't know what I am because I don't really seem to be either of those things! I am generationally homeless! I understand that this is not a real problem in any sense!) Technically speaking, Braff is Gen X and Natalie Portman is a Millennial and I fall in between them, so again, for better or worse let's say that this movie is about my generation, whatever that is.
It has a lot in common with The Big Chill--it's defined by its soundtrack, a funeral at the beginning serves as a reunion catalyst, it has a lot of sad white people in it. But the style is very different, in a way that has probably made this movie age faster and...worse. While the ethos of the early 80s striver hits a sour note today, the cinematic language of The Big Chill holds up, and it still reads as a well-crafted movie. I say this as someone with an almost superhuman tolerance for the twee and quirky (no Wes Anderson has ever been too Wes Anderson for this lass) and someone who has never really had a problem with Zach Braff: Garden State is just visually over-designed and often random for the sake of randomness. The characters even overuse the word random! (They also, I am deeply sorry to report, overuse the word "retarded." I cannot tell you how many times Natalie Portman says it! It's not used as an insult, but it is used as a joke. I found it genuinely shocking!) Every "random" interaction with someone in town is written in the same voice, to the point that all the minor characters seem to be a part of some sort of Quirkiness Borg situation.
Even when the dialogue is not yikes-inducing, it is clunky and on-the-nose. "I'm weird, man. About random stuff, too." "This is my life Dad, this is it." "Can you imagine the guy whose job it is to fight for his right to build a mall on some ecological phenomenon?" Yes, movie. Unfortunately, I can.
It's not all bad though. Jim Parsons is doing some solid physical comedy work in a suit of armor. Jean Smart is there, and so is Ann Dowd. Ian Holm is there too, although I spent his scenes wishing he would put on the ring and disappear from this party. I liked that the clothes and houses and yards looked realistically messy. It inspired a pretty funny meme. Do I wish I could scream at the top of my lungs into a quarry? Every day of my life. And there was something weirdly watchable about it--I started every scene interested in where it was going until the characters inevitably ruined it.
Is it under two hours: Yes
How old do the characters look: The same age as me. 24.
In conclusion: As much as I did not think it held up and in fact sometimes wanted to physically fight this film, there is something about the earnestness of it that sort of makes me feel sorry for it? Or maybe that's an off-shoot of the fact that things from the early 2000s often make me feel sorry for my younger self? Or the soundtrack full of songs from my twenties is confusing my emotional response? Impossible to say.
Lucky Charms Marshmallow Gems Cereal Bars from Dinner Then Dessert
One failure of this film is an appalling lack of food. There is one scene in which Jean Smart describes her Lucky Charms marshmallow management strategy. So, fine. Lucky Charms. Oh ho ho but wait--much like the traditional Vietnamese drag that Zach Braff dons in one of the opening scenes, Lucky Charms are apparently quite cursed. Marshmallow Gems it is.
This whole post is really just a PSA reminding you that you can make "Rice Krispies Treats" out of absolutely any cereal and they will taste like marshmallows and butter and make everyone happy.
Up next: Celebrating the 50th anniversary of a movie that does "wackiness" successfully
