Clueless (1995)
Based on: Emma (1815)
Director: Amy Heckerling
Had I seen this before: So many times
Sometimes the more deeply ingrained a movie is in my brain, the worse my blinking cursor paralysis becomes--if I hadn't already boxed myself in by saying that I was going to cover four high school versions of classic stories (legally binding!!) I would have finished this movie, thought to myself "Ah, well, I have nothing to say about that," and moved right along. But obviously I must cover four movies in this category, and what am I supposed do as an alternative, follow Julia Stiles and Andrew Keegan into what seem like much trickier Shakespearean waters with O or something? I don't think so.
Clueless is an imperfect but better-than-average high school movie from 1995 that is elevated by several very funny performances and a classic soundtrack from the era when movie soundtracks used to mean something. (We used to be a country, a proper country, etc.) It tracks more closely than you might guess with the Jane Austen novel Emma. I would argue that this is one of its greatest strengths when compared to the other films in this mini-category--the story of Emma actually works quite well in the context of a wealthy high school without having to twist itself into any knots. It came out when I was 15, the same age as the characters (although not the actors, in some cases by a long shot), which means when I call it "imperfect" I am using my grown-up powers of analysis but I don't actually believe it in my heart.
There was no reason, then or now, for me to relate to any of the characters in this movie (outside of maybe Brittany Murphy's at the outset--I wasn't a stoner but I did wear flannel and dye my hair purplish-red and may have found Breckin Meyer cute, who's to say). I've never been rich or cared about designer clothes or felt moved to play matchmaker and I was a generally well-prepared student who would not have had need to argue my way out of any Cs. So how did Cher Horowitz manage to win me over so thoroughly? For one thing, I think Cher, like Emma before her, is basically an anti-hero--she's privileged and selfish and vapid and doesn't seem to have any problems that aren't her own doing--but she's also nurturing and generally well-meaning and charming and fun to root for. She's a benign schemer. And there just weren't that many adolescent female protagonists who were a mixed bag like that--teenage girls at that point were almost always a victim of something or someone, and Cher really isn't. She's just a sort of unfettered force of nature. And Alicia Silverstone brings that combination of frustrating and appealing to life in such a believable way that you understand why people in her life are often exasperated by Cher, but never really mad at her.
She also looks like a teenager but older than her actual character, which is fine with me because one of the handful of things in this movie that I don't especially want to think/write about is the legally questionable age difference between Cher and Josh (I could, in the spirit of this movie, argue that pairings involving Paul Rudd should get a pass due to his unsettling agelessness anyway). Most of the main high school cast were between 18-21 when this movie came out, with the notable exception of Stacey Dash, who nearly 30--but they all gel pretty well visually as being believably in the same cohort. (Fun fact, Stacey Dash is older than Molly Ringwald, who was playing characters the same age a decade earlier.)
I would say this has aged okay overall, there are certainly some insults that would be worded differently now, and the touchstones for heartthrobs sort of jump out in an unpleasant way (Mel Gibson and the Baldwins, yeesh). Also, I forgot how many times they say the phrase "Marky Mark" in this movie, I was afraid they were going to summon some ancient force. I appreciated that the movie's one gay character is just treated as another goofy rich teenager--there are a lot of opportunities for homophobia but the movie is just busy making fun of him for his chosen affect ("What's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?"), or making fun of Cher for being oblivious to his orientation.
Good grown-ups check: why yes, there's Dan Hedaya, the gruff but proud father, laying the groundwork for Larry Miller's threatening-but-in-a-funny-way 10 Things performance ("I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anyone would miss you"). I know it's a necessary plot device to keep Josh around, but I always found it sweet that he has a continuing positive relationship with his ex-stepson because "you divorce wives, not children." And hey look, there's Wallace Shawn, playing the teacher who is most hard-nosed about grades but exceptionally laid back as a personality. I laugh every time he reacts to something like Breckin Meyer's acceptance speech for having the most tardies in class with light bafflement and amusement. I find his character so comforting, probably because being yelled at is my greatest fear in life and I am confident that the most aggressive response I could elicit from Mr. Hall would be a head tilt and a brow scrunched in confusion.
Some feedback from the 8th grader: "Who is...Nine in Snails?" Hahahaha sigh. She also noted, after watching Brittany Murphy sing the entire Mentos commercial (one of the movie's most perfectly delightful moments, I really think Brittany Murphy has a strong case for MVP of this film) "ahhh, that's why you're like that," meaning, I think, that she has accepted that knowing a lot of lyrics to jingles is a generational condition and not a personal flaw of mine.
Line I repeated quietly to myself: "Yeah, I hope not sporadically."
Is it under two hours: Yes
In conclusion: It took me seven days to write this lmao
Asparagus and Almost Famous Breadsticks from The Food Network
The characters eat in almost every scene of this movie--mostly a realistic collection of teenage junk food, but a lot of proper sit-down stuff too. Since I had such a bounty to choose from, I picked the two items that Cher picks up and uses to articulate her points in a couple of different scenes: mall breadsticks and asparagus (steamed, for dad's cholesterol).
Up next: A teen take on a classic tale (4/4) because my word is gold!!
