Good morning.
Until the temperature drops back down below 85, I have chosen to live here. Inside this phone.
I'm not going to lie, it's kind of weird in here. But at least I am safe from the angry, relentless sun.
Okay, fine, fine, my actual human family still believes it needs to eat every few hours, so here is a pasta salad that I made. If you're in Texas you can probably just put the pasta in a pot of water and set in on the sidewalk for an hour or so, boom, no cooking required. COLD DINNERS FOR EVERYONE.
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| Last night I saw a commercial for Coolsculpting and was like "yes please can you freeze *all* of my fat and also the rest of my body parts" |
I spent the other 95% of my energy this week on making an early birthday cake that looked vaguely like a cheeseburger that had gone through some hard times.
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| Someone definitely brought that thing home in a takeout bag and maybe stepped on it once or twice on the way into the house |
