3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Director: James Mangold
Had I seen this before: No
I thought I would throw in another serious Western before this particular blog-theme locomotive runs out of steam, a moment which is fast-approaching on the horizon. There were a couple of Southwest-filmed contenders on my list, including what I understand to be widely regarded as a classic of the genre, The Outlaw Josie Wales, but the phrases "Clint Eastwood," "fueled by hatred," "seeking vengeance," and "Confederate guerrilla unit" conspired to activate my self-care instinct and shut down that idea. This movie, by comparison--"guy's gotta get another guy on a train"--felt like a somewhat gentler emotional hill to climb.
This is a remake of a 1957 film, which I have not seen, but I was sort of interested in where the genre was in 2007, almost 70 years post-Stagecoach. The answer turns out to be...largely still doing Stagecoach, in some ways! But I mean, why fix it if it ain't broke, you know? Of course, Stagecoach had one thing that this one did not, which was women who were actual characters. But both movies boast a ragtag group of people, including a prisoner (who is variously on- and off-leash depending on the circumstances), who have to travel across the southwest by horse and attempt to avoid Sharknado attack. The two leads are Dan Evans, played by Christian Bale (very serious, very put-upon, very stoic rancher who lost his foot in the Civil War and needs a cash infusion to keep the ranch afloat, which is why he volunteers to transport this dangerous prisoner to the titular train) and Ben Wade, played by Russell Crowe (charming-ish sociopath outlaw with an almost-American accent who kills a lot of people with essentially no regard for anything but also--get this--draws little sketches of things that he finds inspiring).
One thing I liked about this movie was that the characters said each other's names a lot, so they were easy to remember. Another thing I liked was that they said the name of the movie about 26 times. "I'm putting him on the 3:10 to Yuma prison," "Gotta make the 3:10 to Yuma," etc. Love it. Keeping that goal in sight. Makes it extra funny when the train turns out to be late. I was also happy to see Peter Fonda again, this time playing a Pinkerton hired to stop Wade and his gang. I was...not especially surprised to see him meet yet another brutal fate.
One thing I did not like about this movie was the intermittent presence of Dan's eager-to-help young teen son. I understand why he was there, emotional-stakes-wise, but I kept forgetting about him when he wasn't on screen and every time he suddenly popped up I thought "ugh now I gotta worry about this kid again" and also "is that Dylan Minnette because he looks like Dylan Minnette." Now, I don't want to spoil too much but it was not Dylan Minnette, it was Logan Lerman. However, if you look at a picture of Logan Lerman in 3:10 to Yuma and then pictures of him and Dylan Minnette today I think you will agree with me that young Logan Lerman looks more like current Dylan Minnette than he looks like current Logan Lerman. Everybody with me? Okay.
Now let's discuss the other face I had trouble placing, which was Vinessa Shaw playing one of the only two women in this film, both of whom are solely there to be attractive and concerned about their men. "Where do I know her from?" I thought every time she was on screen. "She was in...something...that I've seen a lot," I told myself as Ben Wade sketched her lounging form in order to demonstrate that although he is a remorseless killer he still appreciates beauty. "For some reason I feel that she is my enemy." Anyway, to my great shame, I could not place her and had to consult IMDb post-watch, where it turns out she was the love interest in--no, not Hocus Pocus, you millennial nerds, I was too old for Hocus Pocus--the fully demented 1992 comedy Ladybugs staring Rodney Dangerfield and Jackée Harry and Jonathan Brandis, on whomst I had the most colossal crush imaginable. Due to said crush, I watched Ladybugs dozens of times and in the process apparently developed a lifelong antipathy toward Vinessa Shaw, who, in that film, ends up with my man.
Anyway. You might have noticed that I sort of feel like talking about anything but this actual movie, probably because it's a pretty good movie that I mostly enjoyed but didn't fully connect with and it's quite serious and 100% focused on questions of masculinity, which is fine, but occasionally I resent how often I am asked to consider questions of masculinity and how rarely the men in my life are asked to consider questions of femininity and I guess this is one of those times. (Erica, you don't have to keep watching James Mangold movies, you can just let men have them I know! I know. But still.) I kept having trouble getting on the same page as the movie in terms of how it feels about its characters versus how I felt about its characters. The funniest example is Ben Wade himself, who to me is a perfectly good, compelling villain but to the movie is literally the most dangerous human to ever exist on earth. Every time he starts talking to someone considered vulnerable (a woman or an annoyingly present young teen, for example) everybody freaks out. "Don't listen to him!!! Don't let him talk to you!!!" like he's Hannibal Lecter and he's about to convince you to swallow your own tongue because you insulted Agent Starling. Meanwhile, his actual diabolical sweet-talk usually amounts to, like, "I love women with green eyes." And then, hilariously, this seems to be working on Dan's wife. I mean, I know Dan is sort of a drag, but pull yourself together, Gretchen Mol! Good grief.
I'm also not sure the movie and I agree on whether Dan's single-mindedness is a virtue or a tragic flaw or both. I guess the fact that it's a little ambiguous is actually a point in the movie's favor, because when the credits rolled I said "hmmm," but then did spend quite a lot of time thinking about it afterward. Like I said, I mostly liked this movie but in the last act I had trouble getting on board with the characters' journeys, I believe due to a couple of weak links in the screenwriting. But the performances almost overcome all that and I had a pretty good time with them anyway. I might not really get why you do the things you do, but shine on, you crazy diamonds.
Line I repeated quietly to myself laughed at because, of course: "Where's the 3:10 to Yuma?" "Running late, I suppose."
Is it under two hours: Close, but no cigar
In conclusion: In the writing of this post I discovered that the top question people ask Google about Dylan Minnette is "Was Dylan Minnette born with ears?" and not the more logical "Is Dylan Minnette just grown-up Logan Lerman?" so there's...that.
Air-Fryer Baked Potatoes from Natasha's Kitchen
Like in Stagecoach, the characters sit down and share one meal that you bet your ass involves beans. But it also involves Russell Crowe waving a pretty good-looking baked potato around on a fork that he will later use to kill someone. (...the fork. Not the potato.) Did Gretchen Mol's character have an air fryer in 1880s Arizona? Probably not. But technically, neither do I--just an oven that claims to have an air fryer setting. Regardless, these potatoes were fluffy and cooked through and would probably be good for fortifying yourself against a strangely-accented man talking about the fact that your eyes are green.
Up next: Essentially this movie again, but with jokes and a happy ending
