Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997)
Director: David Mirkin
Had I seen this before: Oh yes
When we rolled into Tucson, AZ on day four of our long journey, I had an inexplicably warm, fuzzy feeling about the place. Was it because I knew Tucson was home to one of the world's best regular human bartenders? In part. Was it because we'd spent the past few days in culturally hostile waters and there are only so many weird threatening signs about what people would like to do to you with their many guns that you can take before a place stops being charming, at which point finding yourself back in a normal city is a huge relief? I'm certain that probably played a role. But at the end of the day, I realized that the reason the very idea of Tucson releases a little hit of dopamine in my brain is because I've spent so many pleasant hours of my life with the Sagebrush High Class of 1987.
So, let's just get this part out of the way:
ME: I don't like when comedies are mean-spirited
ALSO ME: My favorite part of this movie is Janeane Garafalo's character, whose arc is "sarcastic unhappy person" > "sarcastic person who is thrilled to realize that she made someone else unhappy in high school and therefore was not at the bottom of the social food chain"
So, that's maybe the difference between falling in love with something as a teenager in the 90s and approaching it for the first time now, as a tired and apparently emotionally delicate middle-aged person. (I would also argue that in this case the movie itself seems to love and value its characters with all their jagged edges, and there's a difference. There's a difference.) Anyway, this is your official disclaimer that I am aware of its flaws. The weight stuff in particular has aged weirdly (don't put thin actresses in fat suits in flashbacks for the gag, sigh), although most of the weight stuff is the main characters' feelings about their own bodies, which unfortunately was a pretty realistic depiction of being a woman in 1997. Or...ever. But in case you are unaware or have forgotten, we were supposed to be skinny skinny in the late 90s.
But this is a funny movie about female friendship between two weirdos, which is almost always going to get me. Muriel's Wedding is probably my personal pinnacle for the genre, and Barb and Starr Go to Vista Del Mar is a recent entry that I really enjoyed. But compared to the very prickly and sometimes sad Muriel's Wedding, Romy and Michele just goes down so easy, all top-notch pop music and bright colors. It's about two friends who have what looks to me to be a pretty ideal Venice Beach-based 90s lifestyle, who decide they are not impressive enough for their old classmates and need to lie about their occupations, but eventually come back around to being their odd, colorful selves.
It has great comic performances from Lisa Kudrow (a lot of Phoebe Buffay in the mannerisms, but it works) and Mira Sorvino (this is a good movie to watch if you want to be super pissed about what happened to her career!) in the leads. It has the aforementioned Janeane Garafolo, my acerbic brunette queen. Her line delivery when Romy asks if anyone has ever told her that smoking can kill you and she says "No, never!" (small gasp and head tilt) "Thank you!" is in my personal Sarcasm Hall of Fame. It has a climactic dance number that is both so silly and so very good. It has a twelve-and-a-half minute dream sequence that does telegraph itself as such but...maybe a bit too subtly for first-time viewers, which is a truly wild move that I love. That part in particular rewards re-watching, as there are about a thousand clues that you are dealing with dream logic once you know ("I couldn't find my top" being one of the biggest), but because the comedy is already slightly surreal in the "real world" it's a little hard to untangle at first. That's some confident filmmaking. And as the viewer, what a gift--you suddenly realize that you get to watch them go to the reunion all over again, this time with slightly fewer people flying over limousines or having entirely different faces or having a whole ballroom filled just with pictures of them alone.
It also has plenty of cacti, and in an exciting first for this Southwest Movie series, nary a gun nor bowl of beans.
One of the things that's comforting about this movie for me personally is that flashbacks from 1997 to 1987 are very clearly delineated by music and fashion and various aesthetic ephemera (see also: The Wedding Singer), and it recalls a time when I was aware enough of these things to spot all the jokes. Whereas now, I am an old person whose music and fashion choices calcified many years ago (circa 1997) and whose middle-schooler is surprisingly unhelpful in such matters, and if you showed me a movie scene that takes place in 2012 it's possible that I would be like "hmm, that's only a fifth generation iPhone" or whatever but probably not.
It can be strangely hard to write about things I really like because I have to fight the urge to go full Chris Farley Show on it ("Remember when Michele sang 'Wells Fargo Wagon' with a little Ronnie Howard lisp and then said 'I love The Music Man!'? That was awesome") but at least the existence of an oral history in Vogue proves I'm not alone. (The most gratifying discovery for me is that the director of this movie also believes Elizabeth Holmes stole Romy's voice and accent! I absolutely cannot be convinced otherwise!) Along with the unapologetic weirdness and the quotable lines, this movie has a couple of moments that I find genuinely moving, both of which center around one friend comforting another after a humiliation. Despite having seen this many times and it not being a particularly sentimental film, I did tear up on this re-watch at one point and yes I am doing absolutely fine mentally thank you for asking. It's a small thing that grounds it juuuuuust enough to make the emotional payoffs at the end worthwhile.
One of many lines I repeated quietly to myself I worked very hard to not say along with the movie because Dan was watching it for the first time and I was trying not to be obnoxious: "Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood."
Is it under two hours: Yes, a zippy 92 minutes
In conclusion: It's still, 25 years later, not that common to see two women leading this or any type of comedy, which, for the record, I will absolutely buy a ticket to see in the theaters, just putting that out there, this is me waving my dollar around and attempting to vote with it, Hollywood.
Businesswoman's Special (The Best Black Bean Burgers) from Sally's Baking Addiction
"What kind of business you all in?" Romy and Michele eat a lot in this movie, which I appreciate, but most of it is junk food (it was tempting to try out Romy's fat-free diet of "nothing but gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns," but, you know...candy corn is out of season). But they stop at a diner on the way to Tucson in order to try out their businesswoman costumes and end up settling for burgers, fries, and Cokes when the diner waitress is confused by their request for a "businesswoman's special." I updated it slightly to black beans burgers because I feel like in 2022 that diner might have a vegetarian option. It was very professional.
Up next: A man, a dream, and a Winnebago
