7.18.2017

I trust her to bring that cow home safely

As I'm sure my well-informed readers are aware, National Ice Cream Day occurred this past weekend. Did everyone celebrate? We actually observed National Ice Cream Day Eve this year, as is traditional in some families.



Ice Cream Claus left the gummy worms in the cup, as always



Bonus: this particular trip to the Ice Cream Cow Statues convinced me that when the time comes, Anna will be a sensible and focused driver regardless of backseat shenanigans. 







7.14.2017

Cake week

Happy birthday to my big girl!


It took eight years, but we finally found a shirt that captures her exact aesthetic of "sequined cheeseburger"



And happy yesterday-birthday to my big guy!





We have eaten several cakes.




This is the America's Test Kitchen Cream Cheese Coffee Cake, which has no link online but is...very full of cream cheese, just trust me

I even made a run at a grown-up-ish dinner spread last night.





Anyway, I would excuse myself by saying I have a lot of things to get done today but that's a pretty obvious lie considering how cake-logged and sluggish I am, but I'm still....gonna...go. Over here. To a different tab. Okay bye!

7.11.2017

Send me links to your favorite pictures of snow

Good morning.




Until the temperature drops back down below 85, I have chosen to live here. Inside this phone.






I'm not going to lie, it's kind of weird in here. But at least I am safe from the angry, relentless sun.






Okay, fine, fine, my actual human family still believes it needs to eat every few hours, so here is a pasta salad that I made. If you're in Texas you can probably just put the pasta in a pot of water and set in on the sidewalk for an hour or so, boom, no cooking required. COLD DINNERS FOR EVERYONE.




Last night I saw a commercial for Coolsculpting and was like "yes please can you freeze *all* of my fat and also the rest of my body parts"


I spent the other 95% of my energy this week on making an early birthday cake that looked vaguely like a cheeseburger that had gone through some hard times.



Someone definitely brought that thing home in a takeout bag and maybe stepped on it once or twice on the way into the house

7.07.2017

Some art appreciation

Couple of good things this morning. First up: corn soup, which is probably the closest you're going to get to stealthily eating a bowl of milkshake for dinner, as it is very sweet and full of cream. It's basically a summertime dessert that passes as a meal, big thanks to Martha for legitimizing it for me.







Second, Ivy has been playing with Snapchat on my phone, which means I am now finding things like the following in my photos:



I believe the exclamation points by the cat indicate its surprise at not sinking into the water

From what I can tell, this seems to be...a greeting card? To herself, from the cats? With an implied promise of sending money her way later? I want to print out a giant copy of this and look at it forever.



7.04.2017

Freedom to dither

Hello my fellow Americans and possibly two or three Canadians! My mental rough draft of this Independence Day blog post has swung so wildly from cynical to lachrymose to defiantly sappy that I have decided it is best, and laziest, to just put up a few pictures while I watch America's most nauseating sport on television. Just know that I powered through a very intense ambivalence in order to put on some red lipstick, which I will soon wipe off in order to eat two hot dogs and some tater tots. America...heck yeah.




Coffee: Arabian; Coffee cake: Danish; Strawberries: French

Homestar Runner is American though, they can never take that away from us 
Candy sentinels 

6.30.2017

Warning: vacation photo dump

We have returned, TRIUMPHANT, from New Orleans. We now have only our memories and about five extra pounds of body weight and also a bunch of pictures that I personally feel like looking at again right now, so here we go:


Jackson Square: if you squint it's almost like we went to Disneyland but with more fortune tellers

Why yes I do allow my children to choose their own vacation outfits

Ghost hunting at Jean Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop


Why yes I do allow my children to choose their own French Quarter tour props

Ivy has never been as happy about anything as she was about the abundance of rainbow flags #pride

Making friends at the aquarium

Also staring down enemies

This was my breakfast *at the hotel when we were too lazy to venture out*


I recommend this swamp tour so highly, it was my absolute favorite part of the trip









Big big donuts at District Donuts

...and small small sliders

First trip to Jacques-Imo's

Still thinking about this sauce



Impossibly beautiful sunset over Oak Street

Slightly worn out by the time we hit the Tulane campus

Communing with nature in Audubon Park

GUMBO

PO' BOY


So, in good news for my daily workload but questionable news for the direction of this blog, I probably won't need to eat again until late summer. Probably just pictures of cats until September. Should be great!