Just when I thought I was out, they fill macaroon baskets with chocolate

Last day of March! Last bowl of green! Everything I consume in April shall be pastel of color and candy of coating!

This Bountiful Broccoli Quinoa Bowl probably would have worked better had I followed instructions and actually used quinoa. Eh, whatever, closing out on a bowl of green mush seems about right.

Well, well, well. Look who bounced back from last month's tragic stack o'carrots with a glorious, sugar-filled cover:

I sincerely hope every answer in the "How do you clean that?" section is "Put it in the dishwasher," or else I can tell I'm going to have trouble.

Girl, I've already got my Pilates pants on and my horse's back saddled. Let's do this thing all over April.

Mommy's first jar of decoupage glue!

We ended March on a very high note this weekend. We got to live it up arcade-style at Cash's birthday party, where we immediately applied ourselves very intently to foosball:

And also workout out some 100% correct Skee-Balling techniques:

It's also the time of year when we have about three weeks of weather than cause me to understand why some people actually like summer, if this is the type of thing that constitutes summer for them. Anyway, we tried to make the most of it by doing all of our activities outside. Homework, safari-gardening, etc.


Get it while it's green

First of all, a very sincere thank you to everyone who clicked/followed/bought some candles this first week. You guys made me feel like the modest success I always secretly suspected myself to be! Here, I shall reward you with some proper greenery before we run out of March and I don't have to eat vegetables anymore:

Avocado caprese salad. Her picture includes tomatoes; her instructions do not. Guess who skips directly to the recipe? Whatever, GREENER THIS WAY.

White Bean Chicken Chile Verde. This was really, really good and made both of my children miserable.

Anyone who has placed an order so far should be receiving their package sometime between today(!!!) and Monday. Right now I'm trying to work out whether it would be more efficient for me to just hand-deliver everything rather than continue my current method of taking to my bed and anxiously refreshing tracking information until I approach delirium. Driving them myself might take up less time, and it would be nice for Ivy and me to get out of the house, is what I'm thinking.

At any rate, still plenty of great stuff in stock. Our distribution department is standing by.

Candle elves are cheery folk.


Absolutely super comfortable with self-promotion

Okay, let's see, where were we? Green times? Green Month? Ahhhh, where did I put the guacamole…yep, there we go.

Don't be intimidated by the way I throw my whole being into these themes. You can do it, too! Just takes dedication.

And also we were…oh, yes, exploring our legacy through museum-hopping.

Never too young for Texas history.

But that's not what we're here to talk about today. No, I've invited you here today for a reason. I would first like to point out that I have asked literally nothing of you, ever, other than your attention to me talking about myself over the course of 556 blog posts, which is, what? Nineteen, twenty hours of your life, tops? Literally nothing. In fact, you almost definitely owe me (reason TK). Well, the time has come for me to impose upon you at last. You may have noted the new sidebar on the blog today where I am PEDDLING MY WARES, THAT'S RIGHT, I AM A CANDLEMONGER NOW, JUST AS I HAVE DREAMED OF SINCE I WAS A SLIGHTLY YOUNGER 34.

(Cue swell of inspirational music, hold for applause.)




Thank you! I know! I'm excited too.

Look at this little guy. He's ready for a good home. Or any home. He would accept a patio/garage.

Therefore, I beseech you, go forth and do one or all of the following, I know it will add extra seconds to your blog-reading burden today but it's not like I'm asking you to do something crazy like leave a comment or anything, THANK YOU IN ADVANCE:

I really didn't want to have to bring this up, but I have killed for you guys. I'm just saying.

You know what I find very interesting and enjoyable? Making candles. You know what is not unfurling quite so smoothly? Every single other aspect of selling things. I know in my heart of hearts that it is possible for one human to operate two different Instagram accounts, but it's, uh, not coming very naturally to me in my middle age. Don't worry though, I am rage, raging against the dying of the facility with modern technology and I'm sure I'll work something out eventually. On a totally unrelated and completely intentional note: I think I changed my regular Twitter picture.

Anyway, whew, I think I need a break from all this excitement, I'm going to go practice some Spring Sporting Activities for a bit.



Just been doing the usual stuff.

Soaking up the sun:

Taking selfies:

Enjoying some decadence:

Seriously, look at this late-Roman empress ordering her desserts to devour one another.

Staying up late:

So, so, late, so inhumanly late.

Trying our luck at the tables twisty golf-ball-drop thingy:


Overseeing large-scale public works projects:

Anna says: A stranger is just a subordinate you've never met!

And, obviously, dancing:


Wish you were here!


(Dances a jig)

Top o' the mornin' to y'all! Got some pretty good stuff today.


Sopa Seca de Fideo with Tomatillos. "Green Month" is basically interchangeable with "Put Avocados and Cilantro on It Month."

TWO pies for Pi/Pie Day:

Six Ingredient Sausage Potato Pie

Chocolate Chunk and Pecan Pie. Usually I vow to be more prepared for Pie Day the next year, but this year I just vowed to remind myself how much I hate making pie. #selfacceptance #YOLOandpiedoughismessy

Soup that is vaguely Irish by way of potato content:

Dill Pickle Soup. I hadn't seen Dan look so skeptical about a recipe in a long time, but it's a SOUP made of PICKLES, how could that not be good? It's good!

Hey do you guys remember how much Baby Ivy loved St. Patrick's Day?

Three-year-old Ivy is making that exact same face this morning! Wait, St. Pat's doubles as Opposite Day, right?

In closing, a joke in the style of my kindergartener, who is significantly more self-assured in her craft than I have ever been:

"What did the (noun) say to the (other noun)?

(Five paragraph monologue in the character of noun #1.)

(Manic laughter.)

(Deeply satisfied sigh.)

These jokes are so funny."


Super Social Food League goes green

First and most importantly, I made bread with pesto in it.

Take however much time you need to absorb this information. Sit with it. Soak in it. Feel the basil in your very core.

Second and second-most importantly, Wednesday night was the March outing of the Super Social Food and Makeup League of Austin. We went to Sala & Betty, a place so new they don't even have a real sign up yet, figuring that if it doesn't make it, that's one fewer place that we can't show our green-spackled faces again. Also, it sounded good! Also that.

Had some cauliflower fancy-soup:

Some proscuitto-wrapped nopales with apple butter:

Launched into a mini-competition with Regan re: decadent entree. Mine had pulled pork and queso.


But she had fried chicken and a biscuit and gravy.

I was going to crop Regan's hand out of this picture, but actually the shadow of her hovering fork pretty accurately sums up how annoying it is to dine with me.

Then we went to Sweet Ritual for some vegan ice cream, because 1) we never learn anything, ever, and 2) the kind of place where they straight blow-torch your s'mores sundae is the kind of place where they accept your unique makeup and lifestyle choices.

Honestly, we have never felt so embraced.

Edible glitter. Keys at the ready so she can flee my incessant picture-taking.


So, speaking of the makeup, Regan's green lipstick clearly outshone my bright green eyeliner, which is why I tried to nudge her out of the picture.

I can't help the way my camera points itself, it's like a Ouija board or something.

ALSO, hard to tell in the picture, but Regan's eyelashes are long and purple. Did I give her long, purple eyelashes to wear? No, I did not. I gave her green lipstick to wear and she answered by putting on LONG, PURPLE EYELASHES. She's like Will Hunting picking the wrench. It's impossible to challenge this woman.

Anyway, successful week! Other than DST, which has wreaked typical havoc on our mornings and evenings! But it's almost spring break here, just one more day, buckle down everybody, we can do thisssssss!

Just make it through this Friday the 13th and we're gonna party like Secret Service agents.



Green snack break!

Not pictured: the large bag of bagel chips I actually used to take down this hummus. They're brown. 

Green book club appetizer!

These are just non-recipe potatoes with various cheeses and green stuff on top. We finally found a book wherein the main character eats nothing but potatoes for the duration of the story. I knew we could do it!

 Green Martha recipe!

Classic Omelet with Spinach-Basil Pesto. I had to reach in and mess with the food processor while making this pesto and got a decent-depth cut on my finger. Every time something like that happens I think "This is it, it's my Jack-Daniels-kicked-his-safe-and-died moment." I realize the wide availability of disinfectants makes that unlikely, but I can easily see myself being felled by something like pesto and anyway they're called irrational fears for a reason.

Late-winter trip to the dentist!

Haha, no, we totally trust modern medicine! What fluoride mind control are you even talking about?

The girls have switched over to a different Toca game and I think it's going a lot better, what do you guys think?