Super Social Food League INVESTIGATES

Okay. Look. It's not really my style to throw out accusations or subscribe to conspiracy theories or publicly call people out on things, but here are some facts: 1) I have now been to Seattle twice, for a total of seven-ish days; 2) I have not experienced a single drop of rain or overcast skies beyond early-morning; 3) the residents of the Pacific Northwest are clearly manufacturing an image of gloom and sasquatches to frighten people away from the magical fairyland of delicious wonder that is their home. Wake up sheeple! Look at the evidence!

B. This giant, hipster-leaning dollhouse we used as home base.

C. Crumble and Flake.



Close up on the purple guy.

D. Availability of an absurd amount of free healthy stuff. Just…handed to us. All free-like.

Green juice.

Beets and quinoa salad.

Massages from a cute guy named Karl, what up Karl!


Don't know what the Sentient Yogurt was whispering to Regan, but it pleased her.

Oh don't worry, that one is healthy too, this thing on the wall told me so.

E. Trees, tilts.

F. The quality/quantity of the calories for purchase.

Rachel's Ginger Beer

Ba Bar

F. 1) Hawaiian food.

F. 2) Iced creams.

Wild Honey at Molly Moon's

Balsamic Strawberry at Molly Moon's

Chocolate Pudding and Peanut Butter with Marionberry at Bluebird

Hazelnut at D'Ambrosion Gelato. As this was our third ice cream stop in about forty minutes, I no longer had the heart or the stomach to photograph Regan's order too, but please know that she went for a cone like a truly deranged person.

G. A bifurcated mermaid is actually pretty interesting, when you think about it.

 H. This run through the woods, full of Nutella and birthday cake and anti-encouragement and, okay, maybe they weren't making up the Sasquatch thing.

I. Sweet, sweet nectar of the gods. Everywhere.

I have to tell you, it took a great deal of bravery to overcome years of popular culture lies ranging from the angst of grunge to the way the characters were always coming in from a "rainstorm" on Frasier, but sometimes intrepid explorers are rewarded for their daring.