I feel like a better, fatter Texan now

Cream gravy. That is all.

Homesick Texan is about 75% of the reason I never wear pants with buttons anymore.

Okay, it's not all. (Just most.) There is also the matter of my new meat tenderizer, heir to this house's smashy throne.

A brash young upstart, but he just might have what it takes.

So watch your back, rolling pin! You're only as good as your last session of pounding the hell out of something.

Why hadn't I ever made chicken fried steak before last night? Because I "cared" about my "health"? That's what the green beans are for.

Okay, the green beans are actually just covering up a pile of cookie balls.

It was a salty fatty plate of delicious, as you can see. Don't worry, I had a light beer with it. And I'm wearing a sports bra today, so that's probably burning some calories.

Like all toddlers, Anna does a lot of awesome things. Cauliflower war paint, for example.

She probably got tired of hearing me rave about how super-fun facials are.

She also does a lot of not awesome things like being inexplicably awake from 2:30 to 4:45 am and causing her sleepy mother to fill a blog post with links to occasions when she was not too lazy to make actual jokes.

So not awesome, dude.