Cranberry Candy

For Christmas I made myself a batch of the most confusingly named Stardew recipe: Cranberry Candy. Why is it candy when the picture is clearly a beverage, with a straw? I believe this joins the ranks of unanswerable Stardew Valley mysteries, such as: Why does it seem like Abigail likes to eat rocks? Who hid those weird secret statues? Why am I not allowed to date Krobus? What is Mayor Lewis'...deal?

Anyway, given the choice between candy and drink, and the ingredients cranberries, apple, and sugar, I went with a very festive Cranberry Shrub.

"Sweet enough to mask the bitter fruit" you say, hmm, interesting tip

I thought it was delicious. The girls were...surprised by the vinegar.

ASSESSMENT: I mean, nothing like candy, frankly.

PROJECT STATUS: ON HIATUS until mid-January at which point perhaps I will tackle the Christmas Plum Pudding that got away from me this week. Drab Winter Plum Pudding is JUST AS VALID.

Fried Mushrooms, Artichoke Dip, Pepper Poppers

I had a social event! So I made some social event recipes! Honestly, what is the point of being in a book club if not to foist the fried mushrooms that you don't want to eat but are making anyway for a meaningless blog project upon them? 

Mmmm, crispy pointlessness

Was it wise to bring a dish that increases Attack by +2 to a book discussion? DEBATE ME, YOU COWARDS

My testers were surprised to find that they liked fried mushrooms. I was surprised to find that I also did not hate them. The key, I believe, is to accidentally buy the garlic-flavored panko at the grocery store, thereby making everything crispy and garlicky.

The miracle of serendipitous garlic

Did I need to make more than one appetizer for book club? No. Am I at the stage of busy right now wherein I get stuck on turbo mode and only know how to function by working as quickly as possible every second I am awake? Let's just see what this artichoke dip has to say about that:

The artichoke dip says "trying to out-productive your anxiety isn't a sustainable solution" wait, what? Must have added too much mayonnaise

I guess that honestly was pretty refreshing?

I also remembered that I had made pepper poppers for a book club that ended up getting rescheduled back in...uh, May. But I made the dish. And it counts.

Sadly, both the recipe I used and the reactions to it have been lost to time

ASSESSMENT: I love appetizers and I am very tired

PROJECT STATUS: Fine, it's fine

Lobster Bisque

If you have been here for a while you may know that this is a deeply lobster-wary space. As I have already slain crustaceans for your enjoyment once, I decided to take the shortcut of buying lobster tails at the grocery store this time around, although as it turns out that is also pretty gross? And I still had to look up how to get the meat out? And I feel like the legs moved while I was messing with it and I had to drop it on the counter and back up against the wall for a few seconds?

Anyway, I muddled through and made a bisque.

Ivy, who watched the process from start to finish and was also very concerned about the legs and the moving and the alien nature etc. was pleased with the result.

Here is Anna's take, before and after I described it as "hot fish ice cream."

ASSESSMENT: I wasn't saying that hot fish ice cream was a bad thing. It's funny that in-game this increases your available energy because all it did was make me sleepy. Like some thick warm maritime milk okay I'm done.

PROJECT STATUS: Realizing that anything in the "holiday treat" category needs to happen uhhhhhhhhhhhh very soon. Hmm.

Cranberry Sauce, Mental Adjustments

After my last cranberry experience I figured it was best to go with the simplest, most sugar-including recipe for cranberry sauce rather than take any chances.

Note that Gus's recipe does specifically include sugar, an instruction I apparently require, thank you Gus

I believe this was the correct move.

ASSESMENT: Cranberries do in fact become "A festive treat" if you cook them with sugar for 20 minutes, although now I am wondering if unsweetened cranberries are the kind of thing I could develop a taste for, like black coffee. Just walk around popping raw cranberries in my mouth like some weird nutritional power move? 2020 is full of exciting possibilities.

PROJECT STATUS: IN SLIGHT UPHEAVAL! When I went to grab the screenshot of the Cranberry Sauce entry, I was GOBSMACKED to find BRAND NEW RECIPES in the Stardew wiki. UPDATES! HAVE ARRIVED! 

They bring with them some good news for me:

And some slightly terrifying news:

So now I'm just trying to incorporate this exciting new world into my plans. My later plans. Much later. Later enough to be thwarted by climate apocalypse, maybe? Maybe! *nervously nibbles on a raw cranberry*