Mardi Blah wait do I use this title every year

Listen, today is Pancake Tuesday and nothing can take that away from us, do you hear me? NOTHING.

The absolute unyielding torrent of ridiculousness that is our current state of being calls for pancakes made of Funfetti mix and I will not hear otherwise.

Ivy knows what I'm talking about.

I also threw down some Monday night Chickpea Pancakes with Leeks, Squash, and Yogurt and I am going to admit to you right now that when I picked this recipe it was 100% to make a "the leeks are real" joke because I forgot that 483759 other things would happen between that being topical and this post going up. My bad.

Also though please read this story because the sentence that begins "Spicer also warned the group" is one of the best things I have seen in 2017.

I also made some Coconut Bread because those Oscars were cocoNUTS am I right no just kidding it's because Smitten Kitchen tweeted a recipe that I already had all the ingredients for.

Thanks Deb! 

Anyway, Anna woke up FULL OF VOMIT like so many of her Mardi-Gras-celebrating brethren so we are are having a low key day here. We'll probably spend it trying to determine where on the affection/antipathy scale Dan TDM falls for us.

I think they are leaning toward "attack"

Plants and girls

Hey so it turns out when I set my mind to "healthy dinners" that ends up meaning "two out of three entrees are fried." But, I mean...fried plants, so.

Spicy Plantain Black Bean Tacos

Crispy Salt and Pepper Tofu

Teriyaki Chickpea Loaded Sweet Potato

Anyway, I spent all morning trying to get tickets for a show and also avoid reading about CPAC so now I am very very tired. I know I usually include a picture of the girls, so here is a picture of some pictures of the girls, also the other girls.

Take It Easy Tuesday

My meal plan theme for this week is Our Long National Nightmare Wait What Do You Mean It's Only Been One Month Has Caused Me To Stop Taking Care Of Myself And I Feel Like Garbage So It's Time To Right The Ship.

I haven't started yet.

Can recommend a good spot for churros in Austin though

Further self-care:

Art

Leaves

Cat rockets

Deep State of exhaustion

Let me just start by saying, no matter what unappealing items are on your to-do list today, at least you were not assigned this Herculean task.

It's still Sriracha Week, so just, I don't know, put it on some frozen vegetables and eggs or something, do I look like I am capable of following detailed recipes right now? At least I got all the ingredients inside the bowl.

This counts as the biggest Electoral College win since Reagan and anyone saying otherwise is fake news

If you are a, let's say, concerned citizen, and don't know about 5calls.org, you should check it out. It sort of directs you to the most efficient path for screaming for hours in abject horror addressing the issues are important to you. It is indisputable that the #1 downside of democracy is the fact that it involves telephones, but here we are.

Don't give up

XOXO

Hey quick question, how do you say "Happy Valentine's Day" in Russian? Asking for a former national security adviser. I kid, I kid, as we all know the whole thing is a misunderstanding due to the fast pace of events and the GOP will sort it out after they've finished their romantic Valentine's breakfasts with their wives. It's taking care of itself!

I've decided that it is SRIRACHA WEEK because sriracha is my love language. Put it in some chicken salad! Go on, don't be shy.

Taste the romance

Cats:

The kittens are still very skittish, so Ivy is trying various disguises to gain their trust, including

fellow cat

gentle vet

I assume the Minnie Mouse ears are next, will update as needed.

Since Jason Chaffetz doesn't really have anything on his plate at the moment maybe he can investigate who is to blame for the following February 11th situation:

I demand answers

In the meantime, maybe your day be filled with donuts, bouncy houses, and quiet contemplation.

Come thruuuuu federal appellate courts

First of all, I am wrapping up my chapter on how you should put harissa on things but putting harissa on some potatoes. One more time for the folks in the back: Harissa. Do it.

Second, cats.

Third, I wonder how chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform Jason Chaffetz is finding his constituency these days? Pleased with his priorities, I bet.

Also curious how our president's very good brain is handling his new job here at the end at week three and whether or not low-hanging fruit tree Press Secretary Sean Spicer debated bringing a squirt gun to a briefing but was shot down.

And finally, a shoutout to our independent judiciary, I see you there co-equal branch of government!

Recommendation Tuesday

Hey guys, today I'm here with a list of suggestions for things to try if you're feeling...stressed or something. Bummed about the Super Bowl maybe. Unhappy with your current internet provider. Frustrated by traffic. Terrified of creeping fascism and the slow-motion destruction of the republic. Could be anything!

1. Put harissa on salmon. Do this. This one is not optional.

2. Make banana bread, but also put chocolate chips in it.

3. Give the Sleep With Me podcast a shot if, like me, you have had absolutely inexplicable bouts of insomnia for the past, I don't know, nineteen days or so. The premise of the show is that Drew Ackerman tells boring nonsense stories until your brain gives up trying to follow them and falls asleep and I love it. Although, warning: he occasionally hits upon a topic that my brain actually finds very compelling, such as shopping for Super Bowl sandwich ingredients at Trader Joe's.

4. Put on your cat shirt and cat socks and cat sandals and cat bow and grab your cat friend.

5. Bring home actual cat.

6. Hell man, bring home two of 'em.

More and more

Before I get to today's harissa recipe, I have to confess something that I discovered about the specific spice blend I am using. It's, uh...it's largely paprika.

PAPRIKAAAAAAAA

I still highly recommend this Carrot-Coconut Soup with Harissa and Crispy Leeks, no matter how much undercover paprika is involved.

Anyway, happy Black History Month everyone! I think we should all keep an eye on up-and-comer Frederick Douglass, I've been hearing great things about that guy and his many vague contributions, past and possibly future? Can't wait!

"I think through a lot of the actions and statements that he's going to make, I think the contributions of Frederick Douglass will become more and more."

I don't really go in for "humor" sites too often, as you know, but the very droll McSweeneys did imagine what a Black History Month speech might look like in a terrifying fictional world wherein we had elected a racist imbecile president of our country.

Anyway, don't get so overwhelmed by all the amazing accomplishments of Black Americans that you definitely, definitely have heard of that you forget to thank some white people. And please, keep in mind especially the victims of the Bowling Green massacre at this time. Were any of them even black? There is literally no way to know.

(Hey guys to make up for the above nonsense please please read about Ida B. Wells and Josephine St. Pierre Ruffin and Barbara Jordan, thank you.)

*very long very slow exhale still exhaling still exhaling still exhaling okay*

If you need us we will be watching Trolls and consuming Trolls-themed salt snacks.