The end of Tastiness

Here we go, time for the dregs thrilling conclusion of Is It Tasty month, wherein I possibly employ some self-sabotaging recipe selection in order to feel good about moving on from this theme.

Recipe #penultimate: Cheesy Zucchini Sausage Cups. Claim: "Tasty." Hmm.

I think this is actually from the "Tasty Junior" department, implying that your children will be excited to help make/eat these.

Tasty: eh, sort of, but the edges were painfully crispy and the bottoms were soggy.

Did my children want to help make these: hard pass.

Did my children want to eat these: no they certainly did not.

Recipe #thelast: Slow-Roasted Honey Glazed Pork. Claim: "Is So Delicious."

Tasty: I feel like I needed to cook this for about two more hours.

So Delicious: I guess if you just lick the glaze off the top it's pretty good, but I couldn't chew the thing at all.

Child Approval Rating: one thumb down, one slow backward retreat from the table coupled with a thousand-yard stare.

I got my Mother's Day gift early this year because Anna was so excited to "give it to me."

Seems like I will really enjoy that someday!

Ivy, predictably, is taking the contrarian position on Hamilton.

Her actual objection is that the costumes are "so boring."

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION FOLLOW-UP NOTE: The number of you who have thanked me for introducing you to The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is upsettingly close to "zero," but it's okay. I can wait.

Surf and turf

It must be near the end of the month, because I've lost track of what recipe we're on.

Recipe #somethingteen, probably: Deep-Fried Spring Rolls. Claim: Are Awesome.

Tasty: yes.

Awesome: no, I did not feel awe. I did feel pleased with my egg roll-wrapping abilities, which is not so much "awe" as "aww yiss." Still good!

Child Approval Rating:

Recipe #somethingteenalso: Grilled Salmon and Salsa. Claim: Is Amazing.

Tasty: man, as far as I can tell you cannot combine avocados and lime juice and fail to come up with something tasty.

Amazing: I don't know, I'm stingy with my awestruck-ness but pretty easily amazed, so, sure.

Child Approval Rating: sooooooooo done with having to pose for photos mid-meal, for some reason?

Anyway, Ivy has been kind of grumpy and bored lately so we got her a pet.

SPEAKING OF EXCELLENT ANIMALS: I need everyone to go listen to the Beef and Dairy Network Podcast. I know you're wondering if "The number one podcast for those involved or just interested in the production of beef animals and dairy herds" is really the right fit for you, but it is. Look, Episode 1 is 11 minutes long. The very worst that can happen is that you'll think "Erica, you have wasted 11 of my precious precious minutes" but if you're here reading this you were already in for me to waste at least three or four of them, so I would say you're pot-committed. The best that can happen is that you are eternally grateful to me for changing your life, or at least your Tuesday. Bonus: if you make it to Episode 6, you will know why my blog theme for May is "rich beef sausages."

Dearly Beloved

I'm going to be straight with you guys: Prince is dead. And Ivy is sick, the kind of miserable, coughing sick that prevented either of us from sleeping at all last night. This combination has rendered me extremely TIREDSAD and not really caring whether anything is tasty because how can things be tasty right now, what with Prince being dead and everything.

However, I did make Fajita-Stuffed Chicken, and I cannot achieve closure with this dish until you all look at a picture of it.

Tasty: yes, there are three kinds of cheese inside that chicken.

Whatever Hyperbolic Claim Was Made About It: probably.

Child Approval Rating: high.

My general reaction to celebrity death is to say "Oh, no" out loud and then thoughtfully nod along to various tributes throughout the following days, and I can't pin down exactly why this one is different except that I feel deprived of this gloriously, deliriously inexplicable human. I feel deprived of the vague sense in the back of my mind that he is out there creating insane stories that people will later tell, not with a sense that "Whoa, Prince is weird," but with a sense that "I'm not even sure what I witnessed there, but Prince is awesome."

Like the time he changed his shoes. Or the time he let us peek into his fridge, sort of. Or the time he made Tom Petty go, "damn." Or the time he played basketball.

Anyway.

If you thought you were getting out of here without seeing the cast of Hamilton dance to "Let's Go Crazy," I don't know what to tell you. You must be new.

Her lassoing hesitation makes so much sense now

So I guess this has turned into, uh, (checks calendar) Is It Tasty MONTH at this point. At least. Onward!

Recipe #11: Banh Mi Meatball Sandwich. Claim: (Will Help You) Brush Up Your Vietnamese-Style Cooking Chops.

Tasty: yes, but really, really difficult to eat.

Brush Up My Chops: I guess? I don't know, I think I'm just as bad at chopping radishes now as I was two days ago. Also, what kind of understated selling point is this, Buzzfeed? What's become of you?

Child Approval Rating: refused to humor me with thumbs up/down system any longer or say that she actually liked something, but did in fact eat the whole thing without howling at the injustice of it all.

Good enough!

Recipe #12: Frozen Yogurt Granola Cups. Claim: You Need (Them) In Your Life.

Tasty: I eat granola and yogurt most mornings, so this is obviously a combination that agrees with me.

Need Them In My Life: first of all, you already said that about the nachos, and it was true then, so I'm not sure why you're pushing your luck here. Second of all, definitely not. Remember when I said the sandwiches were difficult to eat? I was just kidding, they were super, super easy and convenient compared to these things, which are basically popsicles with no sticks. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO EAT YOU, FROZEN YOGURT CUPS?

Child Ability To Consume These Before Bedtime Arrives: middling.

Anna gave me permission to use the following picture as long as she was allowed to dictate the caption, and that seems fair:

My daughter as a Girl Scout loves to be with her friends at Pioneer Day.

Listen, I think she's referring to the rest of her troop, who are out of frame, but she does have a pretty long history of affinity with inanimate cows.

Hey, who's super pumped about all the springtime mud around here?

It's hash browns, right? RIGHT?

Let's see if anything was tasty in this, the Tasty Challenge: I Guess I Was In The Mood For Potatoes Week.

Recipe #8: Crispy Potato Tacos. Claim: 'TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!" What's Inside Those Fried Tortillas: potatoes and sour cream.

I added some beans on the side to make sure we had enough carbohydrates.

Tasty: clearly.

Crispy/Potato/Taco: yes.

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE: no, just the regular good of fried starchy things.

Child Approval Rating: could barely hold still long enough to express hearty enthusiasm.

Husband Approval Rating: had eaten several bites before asking "So is this fish?"

Recipe #9: Loaded BBQ Chicken Nachos. Claim: Are Everything You Need.

Tasty: JUST LOOK AT THEM, MY HEAVENS.

Everything You Need: look, I'm going to have to say yes on this one. I had a cavity filled that day and was half-numb/half-achey at dinnertime and still managed to eat about 12 servings of these.

Child Approval Rating: this was Girl Scout meeting/homework-due-the-next-day night and we were all just trying to survive, okay?

Recipe #10: Stuffed Hashed Brown Omelettes. Claim: Your Kitchen Will thank You For Making These.

Wait, "hashed" browns?

Tasty: yes.

Stuffed, Hashed: seems like.

Did My Kitchen Thank Me: what on earth does this even mean, Buzzfeed?

Child Approval Rating: mixed.

I hope you all are taking our lead and embracing spring by either mastering or artificially dying some nature!

"Coy, but pleased" is her highest level of approval, to be clear

Okay everyone, buckle up for the most sugar-filled round of Is It Tasty to date and be sure to have your toothbrush handy for after!

Recipe #6: One-Pan Teriyaki Salmon Dinner. Claim: Is What You'll Want For Dinner Every Single Night. Substitution: Responsibility Chard in for Responsibility Broccoli.

Hey guys? This has half a cup of honey in it.

And 3/4 cup of brown sugar. For two salmon fillets. That's basically a HANDFUL of sugar for each piece of fish.

Tasty: dude, no.

One-Pan: yes.

 Want It For Dinner Every Night: didn't even want it that one night.

Child Approval Rating: mild insulin disruption, followed by one thumb middle.

Ivy declined to be interviewed for this piece.

Recipe #7: Strawberries and Cream Cupcakes. Claim: [Will Make You] Lose Your Shit.

Tasty: yep yep.

Shit Lost: I wouldn't say anyone lost their shit exactly, but Anna had a pretty good time trying to figure out how I got the strawberries in there.

Child Approval Rating: coy, but pleased.

Call me on my car phone with that je nais se quoi

Welcome back to Is It Tasty, my Sarah-inspired recipe series of indeterminate length, wherein we succumb to the ubiquitous Buzzfeed Food videos populating our Facebook feeds. It feels good to let go and give in, guys! Just go limp and let the hypnotic videos do their work.

Recipe #3: Pancake Cups. Claim: Are The Perfect Treat For Breakfast.
Recipe #4: Hash Brown Breakfast Cups. Claim: [Will Make You Want To] Clear The Breakfast Table Off Because [They Are] All You Need.

Tasty: very.

Cup-shaped: for sure.

Perfect Breakfast Table Clearing Etc.: disqualified, served at dinnertime.

Child Approval Rating: average of one thumb up each.

Recipe #5: Fried Chicken and Egg Rice Bowl. Claim: Is Totally Perfect On A Dinner Table. 

Tasty: .....I didn't really like it, but I can't put my finger on why. Too sweet? Didn't like the fried chicken getting sort of soggy? Normally I'm down with seaweed but not that day for some reason?

Chicken/Egg/Rice/Bowl: check.

Totally Perfect On a Dinner Table: I am worried about your obsessive drive for perfection, Buzzfeed. It's not healthy.

Child Approval Rating: Anna had some constructive criticism. Ivy did not.

Okay, that's all for today. Don't be down. Get out and do some fun outside activities.

Next month: Will It Float?

As I rather sullenly teased on Friday, Sarah has bestowed upon me a theme for the week, possibly month/year, what, it's not like I have other plans, which is: actually make some of the food from those Tasty videos all over my Facebook feed. So here I am to answer the question on everybody's lips: Is It Tasty?

Recipe #1: Easy Cheesy Chicken and Broccoli Pasta. I should point out that one of the hallmarks of the Tasty posts (and Buzzfeed generally) is the intensely internettish promises included with each dish, such as "This Pizza Is Delicious AF," "A Sandwich That Will Change Your Entire Worldview," "Damn Daniel, One Bite of This Casserole And You Will Set Fire To Your House, Your Neighbor's Houses, Climb Atop A Unicorn And Fly Away Into The Night," etc. So alongside the ultimate question of tastiness, I will also be evaluating the recipe-specific hype. This one came with a relatively modest "Is So Bomb." So...is it?

Tasty: yes.
Easy, Cheesy: yes.
So Bomb: nah?

It's a very standard pasta/chicken/broccoli combination, which is FINE AND GOOD for me and my house. I especially appreciated that it was legitimately a chop-it-up-toss-it-in sort of one-pan deal.

FINE

AND GOOD

But if I am being honest with myself, can I imagine telling a friend "this pasta I made last night was so bomb"? No. I cannot. #journalisticintegrity

Recipe #2: Chocolate Galaxy Bark. Claim: Will Take You To Outer Space. Hitch: Thought I Had Star Shaped Sprinkles, Did Not.

Tasty: yes.

Chocolate: yes.

Took Me To Outer Space: no, but I failed at proper sprinkling so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

Took Me To Pain-In-The-Ass Cleanup Town: yep yep.

Anyway, pretty good start! Everybody put on one dog shoe and one cat shoe to celebrate!

Then download Miitomo and friend me and get a matching pirate hat!

Don't chomp my pancake dress flavor though, come on