The line between self-care and self-destruction is fuzzy and warm

I like to use Monday night's meal as a way to set the tone for the week, so...blinis and bacon it is.

You better believe I was setting intentions with that whipped cream

Anna helped, from behind the safety of the world's most excessive potholder.

It can hold all your pots at once

Yesterday I read this Jia Tolentino piece about weighted blankets from beneath my very own weighted blanket and all I can tell you is I wish I had gotten the heaviest one possible, because my greatest desire is to be literally smothered in comfort. If 15 pounds makes me feel noticeably calmer, wouldn't 150 pounds be even better than that?

Note that this same theory is essentially why I stopped drinking

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You probably shouldn't have crossed her, to be fair

Bon Appetit is focused on sandwiches this month, which I applaud. I think other magazines should follow suit. And also Bon Appetit, in all future months. 

*types "All Sandwiches Magazine" into search bar, is initially disappointed then gradually inspired to embark upon life's work*

Green Goddess Tuna Salad Sandwich. I really liked this, possibly because of all the sour cream.

Scrambled Egg Sandwich. I also really liked this, possibly because of all the cream cheese.

It has been gray and wet and below 70 degrees here in central Texas for at least, what, three days? Anyway, it drove me straight to the Ice Monster Book section of the library.

That wasn't a complaint, by the way, I have a very Shirley Manson-esque relationship to literal rain.

School picture proofs are in! I think they did a good job capturing their current personalities this year, in that Anna looks like a slightly resigned science teacher and Ivy looks like she just put a hex on your goats but you haven't realized it yet.

Equally proud of both

One of these sentences would be a terrific campaign slogan

Hello. My children have an inexplicable four-day weekend. Like, it is still our weekend. Right now. On Tuesday. So we are on grandparent-vacation.

Frisbee for the children.

Serious and important grown up strategizing for the grown ups.

Buttered tortillas for everyone.

I should probably increase their allowance

So, I mean, here's this again: https://everytown.org. It's been one of those weeks (of so many) where if I didn't have any access to outside news, everything would seem pretty great. Valentine's parties! A third grade Western-themed program that involved small children dressed as tumbleweeds singing the entirety of "Desperado!" No cavities! A new living room rug! Cats doing cute cat stuff! But I do have access to outside news, so it was simultaneously a week of horror, and of superstitious thinking about how to magically protect my children with my mind. Which I can't. So I will instead make my donation recurring, and just keep going, keep going, keep going.

Here's some food.

Korean Vegetable Pancake

Longevity Noodles

And here's some silliness.

I decided the cats needs to take up a little bit more responsibility around the house, so I put Alice in charge of bookmarking.

And made Isabelle the deputy treasurer for Anna's Girl Scout troop.

Cue up the Rebirth Brass Band

It seems like Mardi Gras always comes up on blog post day, mused the under-caffeinated woman who has written a post every Tuesday for the last seven and a half years.

We pre-gamed last night with some Red Beans and Rice. I don't usually follow a recipe, but this particular one did result in red beans and rice and therefore I recommend it.

Can't ask for a better result than beans and rice

It is of course Pancake Tuesday, so I dutifully set my alarm twenty minutes early as though I did not know for a fact that my cat would wake me up an hour before that. And she did! 

It's like having a rooster that instead of crowing gently yet insistently bites my chin

So I had a long, luxurious amount of time to put together these Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookie Pancakes. These aren't entirely in the spirit of Fat Tuesday, as they are slightly sneaky-healthy, but I very much doubt our diet going forward will be entirely in the spirit of Lent, either.

I am also planning to make savory pancakes tonight. In the interest of intense multi-theming, they are Korean-style savory pancakes, in honor of the Winter Games in Pyeongchang (or as I have been referring to them, The "But I'm Old Enough To Be His Mother" Show). Anyway, I guess we'll see how well my theme-pairing abilities hold up to tomorrow's expert-level Ash Wednesday/Valentine's Day challenge.

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Only 1/3 of the title is remotely accurate

And now for the thrilling conclusion of Slow Cooker Week, which I am pleased to report had a 50% success rate and zero fatalities.

Korean Brisket Tacos: success, once I actually remembered to marinate the beef overnight.

Only one child and one husband complained about the lack of tortillas

Carrot Cake: could potentially have been a success had I included the brown sugar as instructed but as I failed to do so was inedible. Just a salty carrot...hunk. I actually physically shook my head sadly in recalling it just now.

Cheese Grits and Greens with An Egg: this was a regional grocery store failure, as mine does not seem to carry regular, dried grits. Probably because I am a part of the third-coastal elite. So I approximated this recipe with a tube of polenta instead.

Oooh la la

First 100 Days of School Update: I couldn't figure out why Anna, in discussing what to wear for "Dress Like You Are 100 Years Old" day, kept speculating about futuristic clothing, and then I realized she intended to dress as herself in 2109. There was much discussion of potential future parka-making materials.

Who knew the Toddler Who Scowled would turn out so delightful

Anyway, I have to go get ready for work on a weekday like an adult who should have changed the name of her blog several years ago.

Made some very on-trend choices this week

When I was half-heartedly putting together this week's meal plan on Sunday, I came across a page in Weight Watchers magazine that was all slow cooker recipes and I thought....yes. I will just make...these. All of these. I felt very content in my laziness and my excellent, laziness-enabling appliance. Slow Cooker Week! How cozy and February-appropriate!

Soon thereafter, however, I came to infer from Twitter chatter that a popular character on a television show I have never seen was murdered by a Crock-Pot that very night? So, as you can imagine, I am now even more pleased to discover how accidentally in tune with the zeitgeist I am.

This Cheese Tortellini in Chunky Vegetable-Marinara Sauce caused no harm

This weekend we celebrated one year of having two cats after several years of having no cats. I highly recommend the two cats option.

Smol

Smol smol

No longer smol

Still highly cuddle-able 

Sometimes my presentations are unintentionally artful

First of all, I want to wish a joyous and fruitful Groundhog Day to those who observe it.

Second, the next time you are at the grocery store and decide that it doesn't really matter if they don't have "rainbow carrots," it's just carrots, who cares, maybe re-check the recipe to make sure that literally every other component of the dish isn't also orange.

Or, barring that, do not then serve said orange dish on an...orange dish.