4.02.2020

Bread

I heard all the white people online are making bread now? So...here I am.




Now, I see you out there with your "perfectly golden crust" and your "successful sourdough starter" and I just want to say that not only did I choose the recipe titled The Easiest Loaf of Bread You'll Ever Bake, I managed to mis-measure one of the four ingredients by a truly hilarious amount.



What I made is not a crusty baguette. You're a crusty baguette.


Also, here is what the rest of that table looks like.





The good news is that even dense, mis-measured bread is not bad. Smells nice. Children love it because they do not have refined enough palates to fully appreciate your failure.



Did we used to brush our hair, ever?

...probably not?

ASSESSMENT: Worth the flour....mostly. Worth the yeast? I guess. Worth all the extra water I absolutely flooded it with? Sure.

PROJECT STATUS: Eh. Here are two new words I learned recently that I enjoy and you might too: