I do not like spending money on myself due to what I'm sure are a rich cornucopia of psychological issues, but I do occasionally splurge on something that is strictly for my own enjoyment, and my Regal Unlimited Pass is one of those things because I love going to the movies so much. No offense to "interacting with other humans," but one of my top priorities post-strict-lockdown was putting my butt back in a theater. My Fitbit frequently records my movie-going hours as "sleep," such are my levels of relaxation. Probably worth pointing out that this affection for the general experience of movie-going does tend to dampen my critical faculties a bit, and I'm inclined to cut theater movies more slack than I do movies that I watch in my own boring house. (This is especially true when I manage to get a completely empty theater and therefore an inadvertent private screening--a few months ago I was the only person on earth to see a movie called The Cursed, and at one point worked myself up to a state of genuine teariness by thinking about how amazing it was that so many people worked so hard on building sets and designing costumes and such just for me. This was a so-so movie about werewolves and Romani curses.) The point being--take all my theater movie reviews with a grain of popcorn salt.
Top Gun: Maverick
I'm glad that I came to this unstoppable box office freight train fighter jet several weeks after it was released, because it means I had already been exposed to the fan theory that Maverick actually dies at the beginning and everything else that happens is just the last seconds of his brain trying to address all the unresolved personal relationships in his life through being a badass at flying. I'm not saying this is what the filmmakers actually intended, but I am telling you that watching the movie through that lens causes it to make absolutely perfect sense. Like--it's impossible for me to consider it any other way now. I just physically nodded to myself thinking back over some of the developments and whether or not they line up with that approach. Also--the funniest, most accurate bit of this movie was when the texting between Maverick and Iceman pops up on screen--full, properly punctuated sentences with periods, because they are old.
Minions: The Rise of Gru
I'm not sure how one reviews Minions, generally speaking. They are neither good nor bad. They are just shapes that do funny things. Now that it's been a few weeks since I saw this I don't remember anything that happens in it. I recall that I enjoyed the soundtrack and had a general feeling of passing the time in a not-unpleasant way. My adolescent wore a suit jacket for the occasion.
Elvis
The top Letterboxd reveiw for this film is "Congrats to Baz Luhrmann for making the world's first two and a half hour movie trailer," and that's probably the best way to sum it up. I was a real Baz-head as a teenager, so I have a little bit of a built-in defense system for some of his more preposterous bullshit, but I'm not sure I would necessarily recommend this one across the board. Like everyone else, I thought Austin Butler was good. There was a point at which I very much wished I were watching a movie about Little Richard instead. Yes Tom Hanks sounds like Goldmember and no that's not what Colonel Tom Parker actually sounded like, so that was certainly a choice on someone's part but it's hard to say whose. I'm not even saying I'm mad at it, I'm just relating some facts for you. It's at least 45 minutes too long. It can't settle down long enough to actually tell its story. I enjoyed it.
Nope
I did not find this movie especially scary overall, mostly because it's not in the category of things that really get to me, but there is a fake-out scare about halfway in that truly had me going. There's so much happening in this movie visually and thematically that trying to untangle it in hindsight is a little bit of a mess, but actually experiencing it in the theater and just being on the ride was very fun. I thought the movie did a good job of introducing who the characters were and why we should care about them, and that's generally the most important thing when you are going to watch them go up against a big dangerous something-or-other. I think I was a little too old to have been familiar with Keke Palmer's child acting credits, and only really became aware of her when she said sorry to this man, which frankly was enough of a contribution to culture for any one person already. But now I am absolutely on that Keke train, let me tell you. A star. The structure of this movie had strong Jaws vibes, which is always going to win me over. My review of Nope is: yep! (No one has done that yet right? Wait, sorry, I'm hearing...I'm hearing everyone has done that. Okay.)
Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris
This movie is Paddington for old people. Whether that is a warning or a recommendation is in the eye of the beholder, oui?
The Bob's Burgers Movie
This one is for fans of the television show, which I have been for many years, although I've been inconsistent about keeping up with it. One thing I noticed is that now that both of my children are within the age range of the Belcher children, the jokes about Bob and Linda's parenting land much harder with me. At one point Linda yells to the children in their various rooms that it's lights out soon, and then, without getting up or looking in on any of them says to herself "We're good parents." The me of ten years ago who had an inescapable 90-minute bedtime ritual with a toddler would probably have been less amused by that! Anyway, Kevin Kline provides the voice of Bob's landlord Mr. Fischoeder, making this his third appearance here. Gunning for that Five Timer's Club. Good luck Kev.
Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
I don't want to overhype this movie but I think it should probably win the Oscar for Best Picture. I laughed, I cried. Some of the bits tickled me so much I laughed an embarrassing amount. Hiding my face behind my hands, silent tears, the whole nine yards. AND: because she had a small role in Everything Everywhere All at Once and like two lines in The Bob's Burgers Movie, this is also Jenny Slate's third entry in the movie series! She's here for your throne, Kline!!
Up next: We're headed back to school because I'm ready to start pretending that this summer will end eventually
