Heathers (1988)
Director: Daniel Waters
Had I seen this before: Enough times to have the entire film memorized, apparently
About 15 minutes into this, I had a couple of realizations: 1) A passing thought I had while watching Mean Girls but didn't bother including in the write-up was that I thought they would be...meaner? Like, there is bullying, but it's lacking a sort of quintessential cruelty that one might expect in a movie literally called Mean Girls? And that's almost certainly because I cut my teeth on Heathers and my standards for meanness in girls are very, very high. 2) Guys...I think this movie holds up.
I'm not very consistent about doing plot summaries in these things, but since this one is in the "cult movie" category, it seems like it might be worthwhile. So, if you haven't seen Heathers, it's a dark dark comedy about Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder), a high school junior who is in the popular group that rules the school, otherwise comprised entirely of girls named Heather. They are rich and mean; they have signature colors; they play croquet; they abuse their social underlings. Veronica is intrigued by new student J.D. (Christian Slater doing a pretty good Jack Nicholson), a dark brooding type who seems to see through all the high school hierarchy bullshit and calls out the popular class for the assholes they are. Soon, Veronica and J.D. hook up, and when a prank on Heather #1 turns sort-of-accidentally deadly, they stage it as a suicide. More high school carnage follows, J.D. grows increasingly out of control, teenage suicide becomes a cause célèbre, and there is a dream-sequence funeral for the ages. (It's hard for me to pick up a video game controller without Glenn Shadix's delivery of the line "Em Tee Vee video games" from that scene echoing through my brain.)
I don't know the last time I watched this, but it's very likely that it was in a pre-Columbine world, when the aesthetics of J.D. with his floppy hair and black duster and scheming smirk were unattached to any real-world horrors. And I assumed that now it would be somewhere between uncomfortable and unbearable to sit through, or at the very least cringe-inducing to reflect on how entertained I was by it as a teenager. But if anything, the movie seems slightly ahead of its time--using the 80s stereotype of the monstrous popular high schooler to set up the idea that the smart but angry white guy loner with a chip on his shoulder who opposes them might be even worse. A toxic know-it-all who wants to (literally) burn it all down, all the while insisting that he is the put-upon victim of society, the appeal of J.D. wears off pretty quickly but you understand why it was there initially in the context of a bunch of bitchy narcissists and lunkhead jerks.
There are so many things about this movie that still work so well, and some that I think probably don't but because they were seared into my brain at a formative age, I found it easy to glide past them. (The title of this blog at this point should probably be "I'm Sorry But I Fell In Love With This Before the Age of 21.") For example, the utter horribleness of Heather #1 is still effective but I do think some of her more over-the-top lines are probably a little more clunky and full of empty shock value than they seemed in my youth. But the overall feel of this film is still so dark and so funny, enhanced by an eerie, somewhat sinister, synth-y nightmare score and the one 80s wardrobe to rule them all. The late-80s-ness of this is probably one of the best things about it, making it seem like an almost alien world that is amazing to look at--it's like a pitch black rendering of Pee Wee's Playhouse.
Winona Ryder is a perfect center to this slightly unearthly universe--she rocks some Gen X Barbie power suits and suspenders over tight tops and one black dress that makes you think "whoa people can be shaped like that?" She scribbles manically in her journal while sporting a monocle on a chain. She is cynical but alarmed, self-confident but still caught up in other people's machinations, beautiful but odd. Our hero!
And, much like Grease, this high school movie has incredible adult performances on the periphery. Veronica's wealthy, detached parents joke drily and offer her pâté but have no idea what actually goes on in her world or how to respond to it. The beleaguered, clueless staff of Westerburg High try addressing the "suicide" problem first by downplaying it ("I'd be willing to go a half day for a cheerleader"), then by hippy love-festing it, chain-smoking cigarettes all the while, and offering the most out-of-touch support possible ("Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make"). And J.D.'s father reads as an absolutely terrifying psychopath--mirroring the way Veronica has running jokes with her own father but making it deeply uneasy--in case you needed any extra foreshadowing as to where that character was headed.
I don't know if this movie still resonates with young people, although the existence of both a musical version and a recent abandoned attempt at what looked like a fairly misbegotten television version indicates that some executives at least seem to think so. But if you're looking for deep alienation with style and slushies, I say give it a shot. It'll be very.
Line I repeated quietly to myself: Literally every single one of them, I'm sorry, I am what I am
Is it under two hours: Yes
In conclusion: Regina George wouldn't last two minutes in the ring with Heather Chandler.
Spaghetti with Easy-Peasy Oregano Pesto from Soli Organic
Another mark in Veronica's favor is that not only does she explain what her favorite meal is, she has it for dinner and includes it in her nightmare. I'm just saying, if every movie I watched involved a character's face being shoved into a plate of their favorite food by a dream version of the best friend they sort of accidentally murdered, my life would be much easier and I wouldn't have to stretch so much on some of these recipes.
Up next: A teen take on a classic tale (1/4)
