Short and not particularly sweet

Here is how I want my holiday season to be going:

Here is how it is actually going at the moment:

I know, dude. The only city in the country without icy roads IT MAKES NO SENSE.

FRIENDS FOR WINTER HOLIDAY FOOD FUN

Happy Saint Nicholas Day to one and all! I hope that Krampus did not abscond with you! As I have a fairly limited readership to begin with and am not entirely certain of the level of your general naughtiness (no offense), this is a serious concern for me every year. Most importantly, however, I hope that you brought your appetite because I made you a Turkey and Artichoke Casserole, which I assume is traditional somewhere.

And a Saint Nicholas Day Nut Cake yes that is the actual name of it to wash it down.

Both of these items are courtesy of the Saint Nicholas Day Brunch section of Cookbook #98: PILLSBURY HOLIDAY COOKING COLLECTION (1994) (ALLCAPS THEIRS). There are five tiny books in this thing and while January Erica understandably decided to count them all as one book, I'm pretty sure she didn't count on December Erica cooking something out of every section like a crazy person. Should she have anticipated this seasonal breakdown, having presumably just emerged from one herself? Perhaps. But here we are, Cookbooks #98a, 98b,  98c, 98d, and 98e LET'S DO THIS.

It's a lot of this sort of thing. You get the idea.

The above-pictured brunch is from CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS. Favorite part: inclusion of Curried Rice Pilaf mix among the candies and jellies of the Homemade Food Gifts section.

Next up, Vegetable Chili from FOODS FOR WINTER FUN. Note: cashews are delicious atop chili, now we know.

Favorite part: the proximity of this guy to the words "relax and join."

Nope.

Then we have Ham and Broccoli Brunch Roll-Ups from FESTIVE HOLIDAY FAVORITES. This was a really complicated way to make what is essentially a frittata.

Favorite part: the "MERRY MICROWAVE MENU FOR 4."

Green and White Lasagna is part of the Christmas Carolers' Supper in HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS. Just to have all ready, you know, in case 10 to 12 singers show up at your door and want lasagna and also buffet-folded napkins (page 5).

Favorite part slash mild disappointment: that crazy-ass Cookbook #21 did not invent Russian Tea out of whole cloth.

I guess it's a thing, somehow.

And finally, Skillet au Gratin Casserole from WINTER FOOD FOR FRIENDS. It is made in a skillet, therefore it is not a casserole, I'm just saying.

Also it is full of rehydrated potatoes.

Favorite part: the section on "ENTERTAINING IN THE '90S," obviously.

Verdict: I can't lie, I kind of enjoyed this whole thing. I'm probably just suffering from processed-foods poisoning and/or excessive Saint Nicholas Day cheer.

While I was busy opening packages of frozen vegetables, Ivy decided that my Christmas decor was lacking in blue streamer piles.

Here is my defense on the matter:

1) She was probably right, it's a lot more like wading through snow now when you walk across the living room. I assume. It doesn't snow here. Snow is like streamers, right?

2) I know it seems like I should be able to prevent this sort of thing when watching a two-year-old child is my entire job, but a) you are forgetting that I also have to keep an eye on this one:

 b) unless you have ever had one, you have no idea the amount of wreckage a child that age can accomplish in the span of a trip to the bathroom; and c) this was actually a fully sanctioned activity, as it caused her to stop screaming for the first time in about 45 minutes. I held the roll for her while she pulled it.

3) On that last point, aren't I concerned that condoning such behavior will cause her to turn into some sort of over-streamering monster, wantonly draping tissue paper across the homes of the innocent, etc.? No, and here is why. It was sometime around the taking of these pictures of Baby Anna:

that my parents made sure to mention how they tried to prevent me from partaking in that type of destruction as a youth, and look how that has backfired. Thirty-three years old and still ripping up magazines.

Lil' Fosse

I haven't done a lot of post-Thanksgiving cooking, but I did want to show off the tightness of my family's leftover game. I probably should have already mentioned how super crazy good my dad's smoked turkey was, but I was still in a little bit of a brickle haze at the time. Check out the smoked turkey action in these fresh-egg migas, though:

Erica's Tip of the Day: when faced with leftovers, add fried tortilla strips. (Also applies to: all foods, mild depression, open wounds.)

 Hey, Christmas is coming! Who's ready?

Pretty much ready, right?

No worries, I know what will get us in the spirit of things. Christmas crafts! How about an advent calendar? Looks pretty cute and easy! I'll just let the four-year-old do it!

LOOK AT THE ADORABLE AND WHOLESOME FUN WE ARE HAVING

HOMEMADE CHRISTMAS PROJECT, CHECK IT OUT INTERNET

So that was 100% successful, end of story. I mean, if had purchased an advent calendar it probably would have cost, what, $10-$15? Nonsense. All this thing cost me was about eight hours and a medium-sized chunk of my sanity. Crafts are just the best. THE BEST.

Okay, I am going to set aside my grumpiness re: maybe some things should just be left in the recycling bin where they belong in order to present the impressive one-woman show that occurred when I asked Anna to please pose in front of the Christmas tree. Please note her signature "I'm four / thumbs up / finger guns" finale.

Anyway, yeah, you should probably get on my Christmas card list.

Everything about this post is a bit squirrely, actually

Good morning and happy Friday! I assume that you are either groggily scanning your recipe collection for kale salads or accepting that yesterday was but the first exciting dip in the long, fatty slide down to New Year's resolutions. I won't tell you which direction I'm leaning, but I have started dividing my closet into Pants (Elastic) and Pants (Try In February).

I would say we celebrated Thanksgiving like proper Americans, but if anything our feast actually had a shade of Tudor royalty.

Cheers!

My contributions were both in the sugar family, starting with Apple Blondies. They don't look like much, but the brown sugar and cinnamon aroma was enticing to a degree that rendered walking anywhere near the dessert area unwise.

And then there was the Cranberry Chocolate Walnut Brickle. Let's say I wrap up a small piece of this and give it to you, nice and seasonal and friendly-like, and you think "Oh, that looks lovely and I'm glad it's just this little bit, what with all the other desserts around and whatnot," and then you have your small piece and think "Actually, I could maybe use just one more little corner or something, I wonder if Erica is at home, I could swing by and check" and then before you know it you're offering all manner of goods and services for one more taste, just a tiny, tiny chunk and then I own you. And perhaps you think that explaining my nefarious plan ahead of time like a Bond villain will be my undoing, but it won't matter. The brickle will overwhelm your good sense and it will be too late. "I thought one piece would be enough," you will say. "I didn't see the sprinkle of sea salt," you will say.

You're already mine.

Anna and her cousin Bethany spent a large chunk of the day attempting to become squirrels.

Ivy's skepticism quickly turned to curiosity.

And even more quickly back to skepticism.

All seemed lost.

But it turns out squirrels just need a little boost sometimes.

And that's Ivy's skepticism was actually hunger.

Delegation station

Let's see here…two days until Thanksgiving, less than a month until Christmas, carry the four…yep, Holiday Stress Season is upon us! Not for me though, not this year, no siree. This year I realized that three other able-bodied people live in this house and really, when I think about it, I function best in an advisory role, so I'm planning to ride out 2013 watching Sleepy Hollow on my laptop while my minions do all my work for me be more of a director this time around. Case in point: I neither cooked the recipe in today's cookbook entry nor took a single of the following pictures. Also, I am dictating this to Ivy from across the hall, so please have some patience if it gets off topLOLLIPOP LOLLIPOP LOLLIPOP

Right, so. Chocolate Oat Scones with Dried Cherries it is. Cookbook #97: 1001 Chocolate Treats (Gregg Gillespie, 1996) seems like something I should have gotten around to at some point in the previous 11 months, but I think I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of chocolate treats. It's just so many, honestly. I only need about 369 chocolate treats in my rotation, 370 tops. So I entrusted Dan and the girls with a recipe for scones that we already had ingredients for and Anna with the camera. Let's see what happened!

Scones!

Dirty table, for context.

Pretty intense closeup here. It's almost like you're inside the scone.

In case you were wondering what happens when you leave a four-year-old with a camera for about 10 minutes, I can tell you: 150 pictures of a four-year-old and her ceiling fan.

Selfie

Selfie with hat

Inexplicable ghost selfie

Foot selfie

Fan

Fan

Fan

Bringing it all together

Abstaining from all responsibilities Carefully assigning tasks does come with its drawbacks, though. Sometimes leaving the house by yourself for a couple of hours means you miss a pretty dope party.

Or some type of festivity, anyway.

But on the whole, I think this is working for me, so I'll just be over here bundled up and eating chocolate scones. Happy holidays!