Periodical combat

I'm now ten recipes in to the June issue of Bon Appetit, and it's really not looking good, guys. I mean, it's actually looking excellent in terms of taste and ease of preparation and reasonability/non-aliveness of ingredients and lack of aquavit, but pretty terrible in terms of torturing me amusingly or generating anything interesting to report.

BA#8: Carrot Pancakes with Salted Yogurt. I feel like "carrot pancakes with salted yogurt" is the kind of thing you either immediately want to eat or immediately want to avoid, and if your instinct is to eat, I very much encourage you to follow it. Soon.

BA#9: Roasted Red Pepper, Feta, and Chive Caprese. There's a whole page of variations on caprese salad and they all look good. I mean, where's the sport?

BA#10: Orecchiette with Corn, Green, and Ricotta. There's bacon in this. Even the children ate it. I'm really at a loss, here.

At this point I'm thinking my only option is to pit the Real Simple "Best of Summer" issue AGAINST the Bon Appetit and just cross my fingers for some blood sport.

I realize the blood would be mine.

Oh, right, I have more time than usual to ponder such things because I am on a beach. Really! We took a ferry and everything!

We were appropriately wary of the proceedings.

Seriously, why I am still typing when the ocean is right next to me? What if I get distracted and fall into it? (I do not spend very much time by the ocean.) I hope the boringly competent recipes above can tide you over for a while because I'M ON VACATION NOW, BABY.