You have to show them who's in charge

Children's Halloween party time! Better bust out the homemade...uh...mustard.

I'm a little off this year, you guys.

I did manage to make spiderweb eggs because a video on Facebook told me to, so, all is not lost.

I couldn't decide which direction to take this FB joke, so just grab a premise that suits you: a) FB is usually full of terrible ideas and this was the first good one; b) FB is for old people; c) I am an old person; d) something about Snapchat e) something about eggs.

Fortunately, I had some assistance with the perennial orange-pumpkins plate.

Rainbow unicorns are surprisingly competent in the kitchen.

So, it's probably obvious at this point, but I phoned in a lot of things for this year's party. It's fine though, right? I'm sure no one could tell that I just lazily skimmed the aisles of Central Market grabbing orange and purple things, right?

Totally fine.

Okay, I haven't really done anything of Martha's at all, I think the least we can do is pay her advice column some heed.

First she answers with words:

Then a few pages later she provides her real answer, in images: