Chopping and stirring in the widening gyre

A couple of weeks ago a storm knocked over the fence in our backyard. Yesterday as I mindlessly pushed the automatic garage door opener the corner of the door came screeching off its tracks and was left stuck and dangling. Unfortunately, the fact that my tiny world is physically collapsing has not served as much of a distraction from the metaphorical collapse of my larger world, but rather has emphasized the idea that 






And it seems I am still settling into my coping response, as it is currently swinging wildly from getting a haircut that leans decidedly Mad Max to peppering conversations with Dan with sentences like "Maybe we should get two kittens."

I thought a library cookbook might help, because most of those contain soup, and it was very clear that I needed soup, but I grossly misjudged which side of the pendulum swing I was on and picked up the Thug Kitchen cookbook because that seemed like my mood. It really wasn't! If you are not familiar, it is vegan recipes but presented in an """""edgy"""" way. Like if an irritating 12-year-old was shouting at you about plant proteins. It turns out I super super don't want people yelling the f-word at me right now! Please, just very gently talk me about lentils. Whisper it in my ear. Give me the ASMR version of black bean enchiladas. Tenderly stroke what is left of my hair and exhale the words "carrot apple muffinnnnnnns."

But I waded through the unnecessary abuse, because I needed soup. I'm not linking the recipes because if you want to be assaulted by expletives that is your business but you can seek it out for yourselves. THIS IS A SOFT AND FRAGILE SPACE RIGHT NOW DO YOU HEAR ME.

Vegetable-Noodle Soup with Ginger Miso Broth

Wedding Soup with White Bean Balls and Kale

Much like my mood, my energy to *help* and *fix* and *work* and *change* is still very fragmented, as evidenced by my skulking around Yosemite-Sam-like muttering unintelligibly about climate change and the Supreme Court and false equivalency and misogyny and racism and "values voters" and daily press briefings and HE DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO LIVE IN THE WHITE HOUSE. And oh hey! Now is probably a good time to note that I spent 36 years trying not to openly disagree with anyone ever because I hate and fear conflict but some of y'all just voted that option right off the table for me. So I have started figuring out which issues I find most pressing and throwing my money and attention at them and if you are also in a SOFT AND FRAGILE SPACE or an ANGRY MAD MAX HAIRCUT VEGETABLE YELLING SPACE I suggest you do the same.

Anyway, Anna made some seed and berry cakes for the birds and we are doing fine.

Like, aggressively fine.

Come at us, bros.