At least I didn't try to climb into her lap, much

Guys guys guys! Guys. The goop Gift Guide is out. In order to properly adhere to NoGwynber, it is my understanding that I must compile my own Christmas list from Gwyneth's suggestions, so I thought I would mention it here in case you all want to start pitching in to a fund somewhere. Right now I'm pretty torn between something practical, like slippers, or something a little more extravagant, like nice jewelry. One thing is for sure going on there though, and that's this kitchen essential. Just have it sent here to the house, thanks so much in advance everyone!

In the meantime, chicken soup.

Chicken Soup with Kale and Carrots

How Gwynethy is the intro? "This bubbles on my stove all winter long--practically Jewish penicillin. The men in my house love this soup." Ugh. I feel like there is a LOT of paragraph in these two sentences. First of all, I want you to make a mental note of that "men in my house" thing because that's going to come up again later. And if this random page on the internet is accurate and she really embraced her Jewish ancestry in 2011, this is all pretttttttty Gwynethy. 8 out of 10.

Substitutions: cut up chicken pieces for a whole chicken because I believe in supporting the hardworking American butcher.

Additions: none, although in retrospect I really wish that read "noodles" instead.

Result: this is a fine, basic chicken soup that cries out softly for carbohydrate companionship. Cooking my own broth gives the house a homey, nostalgic smell that makes it seem worth the effort.

Also worth the effort: noodles.

Ivy's school pictures came back. She looks like a ghost from 1885.

We've been trying to update her look for the retakes, but we may have overshot it too far into the future.

P.S. I got to briefly meet Mallory Ortberg this weekend, and just wanted to emphasize how true it is that you should never meet your heroes. When they turn out to be super friendly and gracious about what a nervous weirdo you are it's really going to emphasize how much less great you are by comparison. Especially later, when you remember that you literally said the words "You are already perfect" to her, out loud. Better to admire them from afar, wrongly assuming that they have some manner of noticeable human flaw.