It's All Goop

Well, I've done it. I've made another fateful trip to the cookbook section at my library. As deeply fulfilling as Martha Month was on every level, sometimes you just want to mix things up a bit and try something that sounds completely terrible, you know? So for the month of November, I've gone over to the other side of the hottest Lifestyle Guru Beef of our modern age--the wispy side.

When it comes down to it, they're both just very rich, slightly insane blonde ladies, but still, a winner must be crowned.

I grabbed "It's All Good" without actually flipping through it until I got home, which is fortunate for the purposes of this entry, because had I investigated further at the time I would be sitting here with no November project to share with you. The majority of recipes have a combination of difficult ingredients, time-consuming preparation, and irritating over-healthfulness that really brings out my apple-smushin' face. In order to preserve my sanity and discretionary income going into the holiday season, I had to promise myself that I would only use ingredients I could find at HEB and that I would not attempt one of the full weekly menus laid out in the back, no matter how hilariously disastrous they promised to be. With that in mind, let's get goopy, y'all!

  • How Gwenythy is the intro? "Fish tacos are always amazing with battered and deep-fried fish, a no-no for this book on many levels." 7 out of 10.
  • Substitutions: none, this is a very reasonable list
  • Additions: pile of fried potatoes on the side
  • Result: these are "very" good at best

  • How Gwenythy is the intro? It's a story about knowing a trainer named Bernado and stealing this recipe from him to give to her own trainer, a famous person whom she name-drops. 8 out of 10.
  • Substitutions: leftover canned pumpkin for roasted sweet potato, this was a laziness rather than an accessibility issue
  • Additions: the pit of the date and resulting Google search regarding the toxicity of said pit
  • Result: I wish people would't use the word "shake" for this sort of thing, but it did have a good flavor

At least that sickening crunch in the blender is not unfamiliar to me, as I do it every single freaking time.

Middle Eastern Turkey Burgers with Cucumber and Yogurt Sauce, Roasted Eggplant with Tahini Dressing, Date Molasses, and Mint

  • How Gwenythy is the intro? It's a pretty standard, appetizing couple of sentences. I suspect her co-author wrote these. 2 out of 10.
  • Substitutions: cow's milk yogurt for sheep's milk yogurt, freshly harvested honey for whatever "date molasses" is
  • Additions: hamburger bun
  • Result: I am adding "don't make two different yogurt sauces for the same plate of food" to my list of sanity-preserving rules

So, yeah, I don't know. This book promises to make you "look good and feel great," although judging by Gwenyth's own pictures it seems closer to making you "look like you're saying 'sup' and feel like you're constantly on the verge of tears."


"I just need a minute."


"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Sup. I think I might cry."

In other, better, news, Anna and I went to her school's International Fair last night, where people of various cultures shamelessly lured us with their native sugars.




Scotland won, though.

Kindergarten: my year of magical hatting.

I'm not bragging when I say that Anna had never tried soda before last night, but I am 100% bragging when I say her first soda was banana-flavored and from El Salvador.