Message in a bottle

I have no way of knowing whether this letter will reach you, coming as it does from a tiny and unfamiliar platform. Today is my fifth day stranded on No Laptop Island. Things here are deteriorating. Yesterday in my explorations I stumbled into Broken Toddler Lagoon, a loud and terrible place. And I was awoken in the middle of the night by a violent swarm of That 10K In Two Weeks Is Going To Kill Yous. There are faint rays of hope--both the laptop an the toddler are going into the shop soon. There's a chance that salvage is possible in both cases.

There is no such chance for the 10K.

I hope this parcel finds you well and that we will soon be reunited through a 13-inch screen.