I just can't temporarily quit you

Well, after the tremendous outcry regarding my parents mentioned in passing the fact that I skipped posting on Friday, I knew I'd better get back on the stringing-words-together horse (not a large horse, more like a medium-sized dog honestly), so here I am. I was toying with the idea of taking an actual summer vacation from the blog because it's 106 degrees outside and it is grossly unfair that I should be expected to do things in any capacity, but it seemed selfish of me not to share the following "I have school tomorrow!" vs. "I have school today!" portraits of Anna.

The future is bright!

The future is now.

Or this documentation of Ivy's budding interest in body art, for that matter.

Definitely an Austinite. She'll probably be a Rollergirl by next summer.

But really, truly, more than anything, I didn't want to withhold from you Cookbook #78: Nice & Simple Party Menus (Marshall Cavendish Books, 1986). No link, because it is another elusive apparition with no internet presence. Provenance: the ether. Previous recipes on this blog: none.

I did not use Nice & Simple Party Menus to throw an actual party because I generally like my current friends and could probably find more creative ways to estrange them. Please keep in mind that I say this as someone who forced people to attend my smørrebrød last summer.

Instead, I picked out Crispy Chicken Bites, sold them as chicken nuggets to the family, and served with plentiful ketchup.

Verdict: edible.

Having said that, I'm actually a little impressed with food photography that manages to make an entire spread look unappealing save for the bowl of fruit in the corner.

"Ohhhhhh! Everything looks so greeeeeeaaaat! You know what though, I'm on a pretty strict grapes-only diet right now."

I mean, if you're going to try to poison your loved ones, I say keep it simple and throw everything in a loaf.

Or a pudding

As you can probably tell, I was pretty skeptical as I paged through this one, but once I got near the end and discovered that the editors share my affinity for traumatizing children through party foods, I came around.

"Have some Cucumber Caterpillar, Billy! But don't forget--it can see you!"

Recommended for: people who are tired of their friends, people who are annoyed by the happiness and security of children, people who have been searching for a good recipe for Breakfast Lamb Cutlets (pg 38).