Annual confirmation that I am not cool: check

The Super Social Food League of Austin went out for ice cream this weekend! It was really very delicious.

Also accurately named, as "milk" and "cream" are 100% the first two ingredients of black coffee.

And while we were, you know, downtown anyway, we dropped by year three of the ATX Television Festival. I needed all that caffeine and sugar (pictured above) because not molesting nearby celebrities takes a significant amount of energy. Here is an incomplete list of the people I worked very hard not to bother this weekend: 

Mark-Paul Gosselaar
Breckin Meyer
most of the cast of Everwood
Ray Romano
Andy Daly about three hundred different times
Wendi McClendon-Covey
Guillermo del Toro
the dad from The Wonder Years
John Mulaney, who was sitting on a couch a few feet from us being interviewed by an endless parade of white guys wearing glasses
and then Andy Daly some more because I really think he was stalking me a little bit

On that last count, Regan did punish me for being too shy to say "I really like your podcast" by asking him about the coffee he was holding and then talking to him for a full minute about coffee as though he were just a normal person hanging out in front of the hotel and not the creator of one of the year's most acclaimed new comedies who was obviously about to be loaded onto the Celebrity Van To The Airport. I credit her for not even blinking when his answer to where the coffee came from was "the Green Room."

For my part, I took many, many creeper lobby pictures on my phone by pretending that's always how I check my texts, just holding it straight out like that. Next year I will remember to turn off the flash first.


Gentlemen. (Andy Daly on the left, presumably talking about coffee, he seems pretty obsessed with it.)

Hey, voices from Archer! And also I could hear H. Jon Benjamin cracking up during the screening of Archer! That was the festival's most surreal moment, and I went to a Guillermo del Toro premiere. 

Chris Parnell was pumped to be involved.

I actually sat under the stage to see Graham Yost and Joelle Carter. Can't get close enough to Justified, is my opinion.

Ben Blacker was amused by me. Just kidding, he wasn't amused by anything.

This is what writers look like.

I really liked this show and also HEY KEITH CARRADINE! What up, Wild Bill!

Cast of The Strain. I'm not going to show you what the rest of the promotional picture looks like because I do not hate you. Just look at Sean Astin's face and repeat "boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew" while rocking gently back and forth like I did.

You seem like a smart and cheerful man, Mr. del Toro. I definitely cannot watch your work, but I wish you luck in your weird endeavors.

Look how pretty Wendi is with normal hair, guys.

Hi John Mulaney! Still don't know about multi-cam, but you are very adorable!

Whew, anyway, enough of that, am I right? Let's take it down a notch and watch Anna express to me the fact that she has ketchup on her pants through dance.

And now I have to go because I think I might have pinkeye and also it's Ivy's first day of "school" today, so, you know, my baybeeeee and also my eyyyyyyyyyyyye.

ETA: Here is Regan's take on the weekend, note how I was possibly even downplaying the degree to which she tortured me.