Less hair, more fat, I'm calling it even

Okay, first up: MegaThanksgivingPlate. We go pretty traditional in our family, so I focus my energy on things like trying to make the deviled eggs look super fancy.

Whoa, what's that at the end there? Cake balls? Well done, second-cousin-in-law!

Upon further reflection the next day, we* decided that having the most preposterous food item come from outside the immediate clan would not stand, man, so my brother bravely took charge and did this:

This is what happens when you don't shop on Black Friday like normal people.

Using Paula Deen as his spirit guide, he made a ham and cheese sandwich on two slices of lemon pound cake and then fried it all in butter. I wish I could report to you that it didn't smell completely great, but that would be a dirty lie. Like a beautiful porky donut.

Our only non-gorging activity of note was Anna's first haircut. It's worth pointing out that the woman who cut her hair is the same woman who gave me my first haircut. AWWWWW.

New Year's Resolution: more makeup, fewer chins.

I was going to include a picture of my first haircut, but apparently that is not a thing that exists. Congratulations, you have been spared a dollop of holiday sappiness by my family's inconsistent scrapbooking efforts. Here, instead, is Doris giving Nathaniel his first haircut while I snicker at him.

They are the SAME anonymous-looking hands, I swear.

Anyway, here she is road-testing her new 'do. Look, we caught her one second before she completely mangled this flower! She looked sort of like she belonged in that little-girl-with-a-flower scene from Frankenstein.

I'll let you decide which character.

*Nathaniel and I, and our beers.