Toasty December

Super good news, guys! I resolved my infuriating tree lights issue by totally ceasing to care about it. We covered the terrible lights with some terrible ornament placement and my fingers are almost healed, so now we can focus on MARTHCEMBER without any distractions. Pull up a cozy holiday-colored duvet and let's get started!

As you might expect, this issue is chock-full of holiday insanity. There are a dozen cookie recipes. There are miniature beef wellingtons. There are instructions for making enormous decorations for your barn out of aluminum siding or something. It's basically everything I dreamed it would be. And yet I have not been able to get beyond this single amazing page of bruschetta toppings.

I would have paid the full cover price for this one page.

It's all I've been eating this week. I'm not even joking. I think it's because Gwyneth wouldn't let me have bread.

Salmon and scallions

Pecans and maple syrup

Spinach and soft-cooked eggs

Banana and coconut oil

Ham and dried apricots

Anyway, I cannot recommend turning your entire diet into a holiday buffet highly enough. Festive things on top of toast is a really fantastic way to start your day, and also to continue and then end it.

To Martha's calendar we go!

December 1: "Sailors for The Sea event at Christie's in New York City." I did not attend this event, but I did wear an eyeliner called "Sailor" that day:

I took 300,000 pictures of my face and this is the least insane-looking one, how do people photograph their own faces, how.

I also sent Dan away on a week-long work trip that involves quite a lot of being on a boat, so I'd say we have Sailors for the Sea covered.

December 2: "Pilates." Look. For this round we're just going to stipulate that Martha is a real hoss about her workouts and that I exercise occasionally but rarely in a Pilates class and leave it at that.

December 3: "The Garden Conservancy 25th-anniversary event." Oh, I think I know a little something about "Outstanding American Gardens."

I mean, look how many things appear to still be alive in there. At least several.

December 4: "Shop for gifts for Jude and Truman." I had a juicer shipped to them.

Okay, I think we're off to a great start! Once properly fueled by bruschetta I'm sure I will have the energy to decorate my team of horses and make gift bags for my chimney sweeps. Just in case my Martha devotion interferes with my already-shaky commitment to sending out Christmas cards this year, here's a little holiday cheer from our family to all of you:

Also, side note, everyone should probably hide their infants. No reason.