Just like eating actual rocks

Back to Nerdy Nummies, in the hopes that I can quickly overwhelm the children with impractical confections to the point that they never ask for them again. It's the 2016 YouTube version of making them smoke an entire pack of cigarettes, always seemed like sound logic to me, don't know what could go wrong. Geode cupcakes it is!

Having made the #1 good decision to embark on this culinary undertaking, I quickly made good decision #2: save about $5 by making my own fondant. I may have failed to account for the fact that having really, inescapably messy hands causes me mild panic.

I would have paid $50 to immediately blink out of this situation.

But look! Fondant occurred!

Ivy was on board from the beginning.

Which is why I made her do the chocolate batch.

The next step was pouring colored simple syrup into the fondant molds so that the geode crystals could form. I made sure to add a note so that the rest of the household could rest assured that I had accomplished something with my day.

I could not finish the laundry, I was very busy.

The recipe says to give them "at least 12 hours." I gave them about 40 and they had 1/10 as many crystals as the ones in the pictures. This made me re-think a lot of my life choices.

I could not finish the laundry, I was contemplating some things.

The most exciting aspect of this project was asking the girls to unwrap about 100 pieces of candy without eating any of them. But they did it!

...as far as I know.

Anyway, disappointing crystal generation aside, they looked pretty good:

Keep looking, I spent like three days on these things:

HOWEVER, being covered in large chunks of Jolly Ranchers renders them basically impossible to eat.

She no longer has any baby teeth.

As opposed to the Unicorn Poop Cookies, which tasted like sweetened craft paste yet the girls pestered me for nonstop until they were gone, several of these cupcakes have sat unmolested on the counter for almost a week now.


Readying Phase Two.