Thai Week

When looking back on the week's recipes, wondering "What went wrong here?" I can see immediately that one of the most significant factors is: "I didn't make any noodles." Why would I have a Thai-themed week and not make noodles? That makes no sense! Thai food = YUM NOODLES. Will I get through Mexican week with no beans? French week with no butter? Italian week with no...noodles, again? No I will NOT. I have learned my lesson. It tasted like disgusting, badly-cooked fish.

Cookbook #15: Thai Kitchen Cookbook (Thai Kitchen Epicurean International, 2000). Provenance: I believe this came with a gift set that included some curry paste and such. Previous recipes on this blog: none. This is the first straight-up brand-sponsored cookbook, but it won't be the last by far. All I can hope is that it's the least successful, because the recipe for Baked Tomato and Pineapple Fish went pretty far awry.

It looks like food that is edible, so it has that going for it.

In fairness, this disaster was at least partly user error, as I'm pretty sure I failed to fully defrost the fish fillets before sticking them in the oven. Also, our oven is so ridiculous that it takes up to four times as long to cook things as it should, which isn't great when you're dealing with something like fish. But even beyond that, flavors that seemed like they would be bright and complimentary somehow emerged sort of dull and muddled. Verdict: I am genuinely loathe to waste leftovers, but I think I'm going to "forget" that the rest of this in the fridge until I have to toss it out for safety reasons. However, because I screwed up the fish, I'm willing to give it one more chance. One more noodley chance.

Cookbook #16: Thai Food and Cooking (Judy Bastrya and Becky Johnson, 2003.) Provenance: Mom. Previous recipes on this blog: none. Recipe: Sweet and Sour Vegetables with Tofu. This is a good contrast to the previous recipe, as a fairly simple combination of flavors here came together really nicely. The only problem I had with it was that I was thinking it was more of a soup, so I didn't bother making a starch to serve it with. A starch like, say, noodles. But it was successful and easy and it made me want to make more Thai food posthaste.

Verdict: NOODLES.

Cookbook #17: Baking with Julia (Dorie Greenspan, 1996). Provenance: Mom. Previous recipes on this blog: none. Do I realize this isn't Thai: Yes. But I was scheduled to host a playdate this week, so muffins seemed in order. The playdate was canceled. The muffins live on.

This really seemed like the type of blueberry muffin recipe that would result in mind-blowing deliciousness, what with all the extra sifting and the sour cream and the fussy folding-not-mixing and whatnot. So I'm noooooooot sure what happened here.

Maybe my oven has a poltergeist.

I mean, they are...okay. Anna will eat them. They're not very sweet, which I usually like, but with the sour cream it's too much tang. The blueberries all settled at the bottom, and the general texture is weird and mealy. So I'm pretty sure I did something wrong, because I refuse to believe that Julia Child would sanction such a thing, and also other bloggers seemed to have more success. It's possible that they were working in non-jinxed kitchens. Or not using 10-year-old cream of tartar.

Verdict: this is one of those prestigious-type books that I put on the main bookshelf to show off. It was the James Beard Cookbook of the Year. The recipe for French bread is like five pages long. I'll be putting it aside for a rainy and ambitious day.

At least it gave Anna a chance to put on her big girl shoes and help me out.

It was nice to have Anna in such a pleasant, helpful mood, since Ivy mostly looks at me like this these days:

Add a few inches of hair and a cell phone and she may as well be 14.

Also, that frosting looked significantly less fecal in person

Guess what I did this weekend? I ate empanadas that someone else made and I cannot recommend this strategy highly enough.

I don't even know what was in them! Some manner of delicious meat-mixture!

It was all part of my brother-in-law's birthday extravaganza (29 for the first time WINK WINK). As you know, approaching birthday parties with trepidation/disdain is basically Anna's favorite activity. Let's see how "plate of cake and ice cream" went down.

Curiosity about the world's largest fork.

Attempt to wrangle it.

Abandonment of said attempt.

DESPAIR.

Rally!

Regret.

I did cook a bit, though. After the birthday bacchanalia (did you see the size of the forks?) I thought we'd veer toward the basic. The hearty. The peasant-ish. Lentil soup! Inspired by Jess's last Food Lush Post, this was really beautiful and satisfying and everyone in the family ate it so also slightly magical, perhaps.

Was going to say "Don't worry that it looks like a bowl full of mustard," then realized that I can't associate with anyone who would be put off by such a thing.

In other news, happy 15 months, Ivy girl! I could probably get some good and/or funny pictures of you if you weren't constantly in motion.

This is her "Sorry you're so slow, Ma" look.

BBC Week

After the dazzling success of Burns Night last week, I thought I'd keep that British momentum going and explore my three BBC personality-driven cookbooks. Cookbook #12: The Naked Chef Takes Off (Jamie Oliver, 2000). Provenance: wedding gift. Previous recipes on this blog: Seared Scallops and Crispy Prosciutto with Roasted Tomatoes and Smashed White Beans (recipe here). Recipe: uh...the scallops thing again.

I never said this project was intended to remove me from my comfort zone. It is just a reason to indulge in my favorite activity, which is making lists.

There were some important changes since last time, though. Look who sucked it up and bought real anchovies!

Why was I ever afraid of these beauties?

I would say that compared to the anchovy paste, the real deal gave a significantly more fishy cast to the white beans. And also the smell of my house. And also my dreams that night. Still a very tasty dish though. Another change since my last experience with this recipe: instead of finding Oliver's insistence on measuring things in "glugs" and "wineglass-fulls" delightful, I kept thinking WHY ARE YOU BEING SO TWEE JAMIE OLIVER. So I guess the bloom's off that rose.

Verdict: The fact that I left this thing open on the picture of Roasted Sweet Garlic and Thyme Risotto with Toasted Almonds and Breadcrumbs for about two years just for decorative purposes makes me feel like it has already earned its keep. Maybe next time I'll even try cooking a non-anchovy recipe!

Cookbook #13: Foolproof Indian Cooking (Madhur Jaffrey, 2002). Provenance: Mom. Previous recipes on this blog: Hard Boiled Eggs in a Moghlai Sauce, flaky flatbreads with cumin seeds. Recipe: OKAY I MADE EGGS AND FLATBREADS AGAIN I'M SORRY. The eggs were scrambled this time? Anyway, the problem with including the word "foolproof" in your title is that I will take it as a personal challenge and fool something right up. In this case, just as it was two years ago, it was the leaden, Smoke-Monster-engendering flatbreads.

First, cooking them in coconut oil make the entire house smell like the charred remains of a concession stand explosion. Second, their unappealing physical presence on the plate caused the following series of increasingly menacing photos, culminating in one in which I swear it has morphed into an alien and is giving me the finger.

Like a pissed off ET.

Anna was appropriately cautious.

Verdict: I have very poor ventilation in my kitchen. But the non-bread portion of dinner was good. I like Indian food. Keeper.

Cookbook #14: Two Fat Ladies Full Throttle (Jennifer Paterson and Clarissa Dickson Wright, 1998.) Provenance: Mom. Previous recipes on this blog: none. Ah, the Two Fat Ladies! I remember watching them on PBS when I was younger and being consistently amused, if rather infrequently...enhungered. So I have to admit that I approached this one with some skepticism. And I wasn't entirely off the mark, as some recipes look like this:

...or read like this:

"Not for the squeamish."

So you can't blame me too much for going a bit cowardly and choosing Chicken with Red Pepper Sauce and Cauliflower with Almond Sauce. And I will never apologize for my decision, as it was a fine plate of food.

Also, fun fact, the only book that didn't cause my home to reek.

Verdict: I was pleasantly surprised by this one. And for once I'm going to say that the dearth of color pictures probably works in its favor. Recommended for: fans of bawdy humor, people with mid-90s PBS nostalgia, people with access to grouse and/or pheasant.

Mmm, frankfurt enchiladas

Friday night was the extremely important holiday of Burns Night, a fact of which you are already aware if you are lucky enough to be on my contacts list because I definitely texted you and demanded that you start drinking scotch. But at least I didn't demand that you start eating cullen skink, which is what I was doing at the time.

"Perfect" cullen skink, according to The Guardian! Don't get any skinkier.

I actually liked it quite a bit, since it's basically just chowder which means it involves potatoes and comes in a bowl. Good enough! Not as good as my Official Authorised Edition of The Robert Burns World Federation Blended Scotch Whisky. But good.

Easiest. Theme. Ever.

I also made the gromack for dessert, by which I mean Dan made the gromack for dessert, by which I mean he made a variation of it called atholl brose which apparently is actually a cocktail. In fact, Wikipedia does not acknowledge the existence of gromack, or rather it does but calls it cranachan instead. Ugh. This is all terribly befuddling and I haven't even had any atholl brose this morning. Just know that we made an oatmeal-honey-whiskey soup and it was a lot better than it had any right to be.

Best to move on to Cookbook #11 before I get confused and just start transcribing "To a Haggis." The Essential Appetizers Cookbook (Whitecap Books, 1999). Provenance: Mom. Previous recipes on this blog: none. If I was amused by the Britishness of Good Food Fast, I was straight delighted by the Australianhood of this sucker. The presence of "Mini Corn Dogs" in the "Tex-Mex" section, for example, is fascinating. Also the fact that the recipe includes six instances of the word "frankfurt." Skewer those frankfurts for an authentic Tex-Mex experience! I also enjoy that nachos are, I absolutely swear to you, called "Spicy Tortilla Triangles."

But I shouldn't make fun, partly because I'm the one who's been walking around calling cranachan "gromack" like a fool,  A FOOL, and partly because there are really a lot of nice-looking recipes in here. I personally would eat the hell out of some spicy tortilla triangles. But for book club on Saturday I decided to go slightly more upscale, selecting Crostini with Pepper (or Capsicum if you are Australian and confused by the word Pepper) Roulade. I thought a roulade sounded 1) kinda fancy and 2) like something I would probably botch and I know that's secretly why you all come here.

You're in luck!

Joke's on you though, schadenfreudists, as roasted peppers on toast taste perfectly good even if they aren't in nice froufy little circles.

I'm only ever aiming for an appearance of "more or less intentional."

And I have to say, they were beautifully repurposed for breakfast yesterday.

Sometimes I am using the eggs to hide mistakes. NOW YOU KNOW.

Verdict: lots of appetizers. I like appetizers. I am childishly amused by the language quirks of other English-speaking nations. Keeper!

Hey Anna, isn't it super nice of Cali to be reading you a story?

Well, don't take it personally, Cali. She was in kind of a mood after a recent bout of engineering failure.

Let's see, maybe if I can...

...just get it to...

...womp womp.

My first child was not a climber please help me

I really try not to go through an entire week without eating soup, especially when it is technically winter no matter how strongly the fact that everyone in my family is wearing shorts today indicates otherwise. So, carrot soup it is then!

It's the time of year when everything looks dark and sad because I have not yet bought myself a lightbox but I assure you this bowl was quite lively in person.

I also made crepes! Look how crepe-y and normal (okay, and dark and sad) they look!

Basically like omelets but way more infuriating.

Which makes me seem like a person with some basic level of proficiency in the kitchen only because you didn't witness the dozen tragic attempts before I managed to find a temperature/swirling technique that kept them more or less in one piece. Check out my irrepressible optimism though, nudging all those sad, mutilated crepelets over to one side to make way for what will probably definitely turn out fine next time.

The plate is only half-full! Of failure!

And then I made a plantain and meat casserole, which is what happens when one takes pity on one's theme-besieged husband.

There are worse things.

Ivy has been doing a lot of lounging lately.

In various locations/levels of physical danger.

But I do think we as a family have almost mastered "Cheese!" 

Barely nightmarish at all!

Salads, rocks, we'll all be skinny in no time

Hey, an internet recipe! How new-fangled! This Caprese Grilled Chicken with Balsamic Reduction had a really nice flavor happening with the tomato, fresh mozzarella, and basil. It's a classic combination, but it had never crossed my mind to throw it on top of a chicken breast.

HANG ON DID I JUST GET TRICKED INTO MAKING MEATZA AGAIN?

As I am ahead of schedule on Expedition Cookbook, I'm taking the week off and reverting to my Pinterest-led comfort zone. Also, a couple of days ago I found this somewhat wary-sounding note next to a stack of cookbooks in the kitchen.

Dan is nothing if not longsuffering.

I was mostly very lazy this long weekend and let professional establishments feed me (Central Market and Black Star, respectively). I have to say, they did a bang-up job.

I like that the menu in no way indicates the prodigious amount of butter involved in this roasted salmon, because it lets me feel virtuous when ordering and still get to eat a prodigious amount of butter.

Hard to feel virtuous ordering fried chicken. UNLESS YOU ADD A LOCAL GREENS SALAD. Ah crap, I'm never going to win Biggest Blogging Loser if I keep giving away my brilliant dieting strategy.

We tried to take advantage of our stretch of beautiful weather this weekend by spending a lot of time at playgrounds. Nice ones! With pleeeeenty of fun activities! I have to admit I was sort of hoping that Ivy, my more adventurous child, would find entertainment outside of "trying to eat rocks."

If anything she's just going to overachieve and "succeed in eating rocks."

Well. At least Anna is big enough now to take proper advantage of playground equipment.

No Meat Week

When I started mentally dividing the cookbooks into themes, I guess I envisioned Vegetarian Week as more of a thing than it turned out to be, probably because it was really just How I Mostly Cooked For Several Years Before Paleo Confused Me Week. So the drama it generated was pretty low-key. More chopping of things! Lower grocery bill! As long I get to eat cheese the world feels like a reasonable place to live!

I will probably never be an actual vegetarian for the following reasons: 1) At some point it was decided that mushrooms are "close enough to meat, I guess" and they make up the bulk of vegetarian offerings when eating out and they are gross; 2) Existence of brisket; 3) Too lazy to take a hard line on optional dietary restrictions. But I can go pretty long stretches without even noticing that meat is missing, so this week's collection will probably all stay in rotation for that reason alone.

Cookbook #7: How to Cook Everything Vegetarian (Mark Bittman, 2007). Provenance: I bought it. Previous recipes on this blog: I am absolutely certain there are some hiding somewhere, but my time-tested strategy of "cursory pass at the blog search function" says none, so none.

Recipe: Peanut Soup, Senegalese Style. I lost myself in the soup section of this book for quite some time. In fact, I was so taken with the soups that I haven't even studied the egg chapter yet. I was looking for something comforting and veggie-filled and time-in-the-fridge-improving. I figure peanut soup either sounds disgusting or amazing to you, so I won't bother proselytizing here, but some of you are really wrong.

Hot peanuts for dinner, come on, it's like something from a dream.

Verdict: obviously a keeper, as I have about 82 more soups to make. Downside: no pictures. This is another encyclopedic-type tome, best evidenced by the section in the intro titled "How To Use This Book." Recommended for: people who like vegetables, charts.

Cookbook #8: Vegetarian: The Best-Ever Recipe Collection (Linda Fraser, 1998). Provenance: the bargain section, from the looks of things.

Hard to go wrong at 2.6 cents per recipe, honestly.

I'm pretty sure Dan brought this one into our union, which means it was likely obtained in college. I cannot attest to the use it got before my arrival. Previous recipes on this blog: none.

Recipe: Vegetable Moussaka. Yes, that is a mushroom. Listen, I'm not devoted to my quarrel with fungus. I'm staying open-minded. Anyway, I found it to be "not bad," but both of my children (who would not eat peanut soup, WEIRDOS) ate it without complaint, which bumps the grade up to A++++++.

Plus there's a nice little egg-yogurt-cheese roof over it! Keeping everything warm and dairyful.

Verdict: there's actually quite a bit of appealing stuff in here, which I know because of all the beautiful color pictures, Mark Bittman. Recommended for: anyone with $6 to spare.

Cookbook #9: Easy Vegetarian Dinners (2003). Provenance: another bargain-bin find, I remember picking this one up at Barnes and Noble for $3-4 a few years ago. Previous recipes on this blog: none that CursorySearch could turn up.

Recipe: Ranch Eggs. Not to be confused with Huevos Rancheros, which appear nine pages later and are clearly different due to...using chopped onions instead of sliced, I guess? That's okay, I'm no stranger to juggling multiple eggs-with-tomato-sauce desires.

Especially since "Sprinkle with cheese" appears in both.

Verdict: I have a soft spot for this one, since I used to cook out of it all the time when Dan and I started playing house (there are several notes from dishes made in 2005). Looks like the most marked-up sections are..."Eggs and Cheese" and "Soups," so, you know. Ever evolving.

Cookbook #10: Super Natural Every Day (Heidi Swanson, 2011.) Provenance: I bought this for myself for Christmas last year. Previous recipes on this blog: Cabbage and White Beans, Miso-Curry Squash with Tofu and Greens, Split Peas and Pesto with Salad Greens, Spinach Chop, Broccoli Gribache, the beeeeeest Cauliflower Soup.

Not only are there pictures in this one, there are insanely beautiful pictures that make everything up to and including kale salad look like a good idea. Recipe: I repeated the miso-curry squash that I made around this time last year. Instead of serving it on rice again, however, I served it on...extra kale.

This is due to my being rather fatter than I was last January. Always a safe bet when the k-word pops up in 50% of a given week's dinners.

Verdict: this book is lovely and it contains my favorite cauliflower soup. Downside: I am spoiled by the vastness of Bittman and Kimball and it seems like there's not that much to this one. It's sort of...slight. Recommended for: anyone who doesn't believe me that "Broccoli Gribache" can be made to look very appealing.

Anna's cup of crayons was on the bitter side this morning.

Oof, definitely.

Ah, well. Must press on!

Cash and Scarlett visited us for a bit yesterday and I was proud to see that my young ladies are responding to the grueling Gracious Hostess training I have been putting them through. They hit all the basic markers of a good host, such as staying attentive and engaged:

...and upright.