"A fourth cup of coffee will write that blog post for you"

Hey there Eating Well September/October 2016 issue! Let's have a chat about front cover teasers.

The Bait

Here is what I was hoping to see within these shiny pages: "Researchers have found that this is the best possible habit in humans." "Doctors now say that *more* coffee can actually help *alleviate* anxiety. You just weren't drinking enough of it, Erica!" "They key to drinking coffee past 2:00 pm and still being able to sleep at night is to pair it with plenty of refined sugar." "Coffee breath is SO on trend for fall 2016." "Here is a coupon for 10 lbs. of free coffee."

Here is what I actually saw:

Note that the $3.50/hour here is being compared very favorably to the $1.00-$3.50/DAY mentioned in the previous paragraph.

A long, well-researched, and interesting yet guilt-inducing article about the impact of direct trade on the quality of life for coffee bean farmers.  Oh, with like three "good news" coffee factoids sprinkled in:

One of them is "Also, maybe old people can drink caffeine without exploding their hearts, we're not sure, ask your doctor."

So look, I realize that "Coffee Habit? This Exposé Will Cripple You With Lifestyle Guilt" probably wouldn't move a lot of units, but I feel very much misled, Eating Well.  And what is Big Science wasting its time on that it can't figure out a way for me to have coffee after dinner without staying awake for 48 hours afterward? How is it that we can have Stanley Kubrick stage a moon landing put a man on the moon but still not have solved this extremely pressing problem?

Anyway, there are also recipes, I guess. 

Classic White Bean and Ham Soup

Chicken Parmesan Dip

Looks like the only kid picture I have for this week is "standing at the bus stop." So you'll just have to use your imagination when I tell you that yesterday I thought I heard Anna wailing in her room before I realized she was singing the Pokémon theme song and has just inherited my vocal talents.