A case of the Mondays and/or dysentery

On Monday morning, I 1) woke up, 2) dragged myself to the kitchen, 3) took a large gulp of water from my glass on the counter, 4) noted that it tasted bad 5) probably because of the dead roach in the bottom of it.

I know.

Go ahead and take a minute.

I took several, myself.

My first thought was "Oh, that's what plague tastes like, I always wondered," and my second thought was "please don't set the tone for the entire week please don't set the tone for the entire week please don't set the tone for the entire week."

Obviously it set the tone for the entire week.

So it was with a tremendous amount of defeated indifference that I chose September's theme, which is The Easiest Possible One-Dish Meals from my America's Test Kitchen cookbook. Dan is going to be gone for a chunk of September plus I can still feel the roach guts inside of me, waiting, whispering, plus the world seems very extra bad right now in a "and that's why I can't seem to make myself take a shower" sort of way, so I'm trying to keep the cooking ambition to a minimum, and that's how I landed on this lovely bowl of spaghetti and meatballs:

It was a long and disgusting route.

And extra-Goldfishy broccoli and cheddar soup:

My children were stunned by this development. At least I can still spread joy without actually exuding any, thanks Pepperidge Farms!

Back to School activities:

Somehow convincing our teachers to lie for us.

I love you Ivy's teachers, but no one is buying this.