Texas Weekend

On some stifling day in late August as I attempt to cobble together a theme involving rednecks and garlic and major chicken distributors, I will look back on this time of three excellent cookbooks in a row and cry a single tear as I am flooded with memories that are bittersweet. And covered in spicy rib sauce. In fact, the past few days have involved so much good food that I'm experiencing a surge of culinary-based Texas Pride, and possibly a minor case of gout.

I already knew I loved Cookbook #26: The Homesick Texan Cookbook (Lisa Fain, 2011), because I bought it as soon as it came out and I make her stuff all the time. I have even made these Dr. Pepper ribs before, but I believe it was in my pre-blogging days. So this is my version of NBC trying to pass off reruns as "New To You!" But tastier. They were a little spicier than I remember, so either I am growing delicate in my old age or "eyeballing" the chipotle powder isn't as precise a move as I thought. Fortunately, despite their name, the jalapeño pinto beans weren't too fiery.

Just creeeeeeamy.

Verdict: This is basically a big collection of food I grew up with, slightly enhanced and photographed beautifully. I adore it. Go poke around her site and you'll have a pretty good idea of whether this book is for you. But first look at these banana, bacon, and pecan pancakes that she posted a few weeks ago and I jumped all over.

I mean, if you're not into that, that's cool. Makes sense.

Cookbook #27: Texas Home Cooking (Cheryl and Bill Jamison, 1993) is owned by every member of my immediate family, if that tells you anything. (It tells you that we like eating.) The bad news is, this King Ranch Chicken came out of the oven looking slightly like cat food. The good news is, I edited the picture to make it also look radioactive.

Just adds a little pop KABOOM.

But it tasted nice, as casseroles involving cheese and peppers are wont to do. Verdict: less flashy than Homesick Texan (no pictures, grrrr), but a little homier and contains the best meatloaf recipe in existence. Whether or not this one was a keeper has never been up for debate, it lives over on the dictionary/Shakespeare Shelf Of Heavy Important Books.

Hey! My friends Adam and Sarah had a baby! And he is cute and smoooooooshy, BROWNIES FOR EVERYONE! Cookbook #28 The Ultimate Brownie Book (Bruce Weinstein, 2002) to the rescue. Provenance: Mom. Previous recipes on this blog: none. Recipe: better sit down for this one, Banana Brownies with Peanut Butter Frosting.

I'm not saying they're worth birthing a human for. But maybe adopting an injured bird or something.

Verdict: The. Ultimate. Brownie. Book. Works for me!

The real jewel in the crown of Texas Week was camping out at Franklin BBQ with my dad on Sunday morning. Franklin's isn't too well-known, I don't think anyone is really talking about it or anything. Turns out they produce a damn fine brisket! You heard it here first.

She's just a little overwhelmed.

Was it worth a three-hour wait? I dunno. We got Anna a little Franklin's T-shirt and it still smells like the smoke from the restaurant and I've been sleeping with it under my pillow at night. So, you know, maybe.

Hey girls, this practical joke really only works if you are actually twins.

Good effort, though.

It's Texas Week and there's nothing you can do about it

Oh, internet. What have you done to me? When I saw Texas Independence Day on the calendar I got so excited because I have three entire Texas-specific cookbooks to burn through. Perfect! But then, in the dead of night...doubts. Sometimes I think things are kind of funny and pleasant until I am emphatically informed otherwise! What if this is like that? I mean, I reside here on the internet with the rest of you, I know how things are. Many people find the very concept of Texas obnoxious and the celebration of our less-than-three-year stint as a republic unbearably obnoxious and also historical revolutions inherently involve the patriarchy which seems bad and actually is it racist somehow HELP ME SOMEONE I JUST LIKE FOOD THEMES. (Exhibit A: Croation Victory Day.) So, you know what, I'm pressing on because I enjoy Texas and also our food and you don't have to like Texas. You just have to like me (please like me). (I'm relatively confident there is no actual racism involved.)

Cool, those of you still with me get to check out Cookbook #24: More Tastes & Tales from Texas With  Love (Peg Hein, 1987). With LOVE, you guys! Can't be bad. This is Anna's favorite so far because it has an ampersand, and she is obsessed with ampersands (pretty normal fixation). Provenance: Mom. Previous recipes on this blog: none. Decade: 80s. Instances of margarine in recipes: many.

I was worried that Texas Week would result in three cow-based meals in a row, especially because I was trying to avoid Tex-Mex for history-based theme and I'm almost positive not racist reasons. So for this first book I decided to make a meal of sides. (Spoiler alert: there is not a single upcoming cow-based meal.) Recipes: Grapefruit-Avocado Salad, Tomatoes Rockafeller, Scholz Garden Beans. Or as I like to call them: Yum, Also Yum, and Whoa That's A Lot of Onion.

Drowning out the bacon flavor is unforgivable, onion.

Recipe I did not make but still want you to contemplate the existence of: "Black-Eyed Pea-Zza Bread." Verdict: I was a little wary, given my recent stint with 80s cuisine, but overall this book charmed me. Maybe I will do some cow-cooking next time.

Hey, Vino Rosso Linguine is perfect for those times when you want something that tastes good and also looks like brains.

Just a suggestion!

At least I know that Cookbook #25, The Cake Mix Doctor (Anne Byrn, 1999) won't be at all controversial to the good people of the internet because it was a gift from my mom and I used it to make Mom's Layer Cake with Fluffy Chocolate Frosting FOR MY MOM. It may as well have a kitten doing something humorous on top of it!

(Starts receiving angry mail about gluten.)

Verdict: do you seriously not already have this book? I've probably used it a hundred times. Go buy this book.

Anna took her newfound Dental Health Month knowledge to vigorously brush! ....The sheep!

...'s eyeballs!

NO HAT NO BLANKET THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN TAKE A LONG LOOK

Unless your weekend involved a pudding tower, I think I win

I've spent all day circling around how to recap this weekend's party in Arizona, but as I already mentioned on Twitter, it's not an easily recappable event, made up as it is of small delights rather than grand events. Fortunately, many of those small delights were of the edible variety, so my PJ's at TJ's roundup is pretty much just going to consist of 800,000 photographed calories. (The same as a regular weekend but better-organized.)

Snack Wall. It's sort of like the Banana Republic/Bluefly/Piperlime/Lord&Taylor accessory wall on Project Runway, but it involves more Starburst.

Good, solid chip-based spread.

I guess I could have taken a picture of the pub cheese before it was demolished but there was no time no time gotta eat the pub cheeeeeeese.

Fruit! Right there. Under the chocolate.

And that looks like some vegetation! I'm not sure, I was on the pub cheese other side of the counter.

Did have to step out for a hot meal, obviously.

I stuffed almost all of these in my purse on my way out the door. No, seriously, I did that.

Haaaaa, I mean, come on. Beautiful.

Good, solid chip-based spread: evening edition.

Bowl o' exotic Canadian delights from the Far North.

Is there anything more appealing than pudding in a tower formation? That's how you know you're at a fancy party.

Chocolate things.

Squishy things.

The cornerstone of any self-respecting slumber party.

Don't get me wrong--as fun as it was, it wasn't a perfect, magical experience across the board. There was...an incident.

The pain is still so fresh.

Anyway, if you've never had the exquisite pleasure of filling a suitcase with nothing but elastic waistbands, I recommend that you start making arrangements to do so as soon as possible. It is a beautiful experience. In fact, by Saturday afternoon, my brain was in such a relaxed state that when I encountered purple jeggings on clearance while wandering aimlessly through Target, it didn't just seem like a good thing. It seemed like the best thing.

Cheers, you guys!

Lite Week: just a wan precursor to Snack Weekend

I'm splitting today's post into two parts, mostly so that people looking for a recap of the weekend don't have to slog through Cookbooks #22 and #23 (not you, you stay here and slog), and also because I feel like my first encounter with pub cheese deserves its own entry. Deserves its own blog, really.

But first, important business: you are here to look at vegetables. Last week was my first cookbook repeat, as I went back to the vegan well for this 2nd Avenue Vegetable Korma from #4, Appetite for Reduction. I guess when your entire diet is plant-based, you need to be pretty skilled at making vegetables taste delicious, so it's no surprise that this was very good.

Most of us can just add bacon and cheese to things.

I used Cookbook #22: Healthy Cooking For Two (or Just You) (Frances Price, 1997) to make amends for my shameful lack of noodles during Thai Week. I'm not sure how authentic this Hong Kong Primavera with Spicy Peanut Sauce was, but noodles + peanuts = good enough for me. Provenance: I bought this one. Previous recipes on this blog: none that I can find, but I used to cook out of this a lot when there were actually only two of us.

I don't know why cabbage so thoroughly enhances pasta, but it does. It does.

Verdict: no pictures, but a nice variety of simple recipes. I'll probably keep using it on nights when we don't need a whole pile of food, assuming such a scenario ever arises.

Okay, hang in there, we're almost through this Cookbook #23: The Complete Cooking Light Cookbook (Cathy A. Wesler, 2000). Provenance: I think my grandfather got this at a library book sale and I snatched it right up. Previous recipes on this blog: none. Recipes: Tuscan Cod and Green Beans with Bacon Balsamic Vinaigrette.

See? Just have to add bacon.

Verdict: this meal was really good, there are tons of nice color pictures, there are about one million recipes in this thing. It's 13 years old, so I doubt you can find it outside of random library book sales, but in general I would give a thumbs up to the Cooking Light franchise even if (because?) those green beans were coated in brown sugar.

The girls have been busy boldly facing down the elements.

It was sunny and 75 degrees when I took this picture. Once it drops below 80, you really can't be too careful.

And there was crazy-ass 18-wheeler-toppling wind when I took this one.  Unfazed.

Leeeeeavin' on a jet plane, know exactly when I'll be back again

Can't do any proper blogging this morning because I'm about to head out to Phoenix. For...blogging. Look, it's a complicated system and I don't have time to explain it to you. Anyway, that means that my recap of Lite Week will have to wait, and I know you're disappointed because you wandered over here this morning desperately hoping to see some vegetables, so I just hope this is enough to tide you over.

LITE WEEK PLACEHOLDER

These pictures of Ivy are pretty blurry, but I'm guessing in the first one she's prostrate with grief at my impeding departure and in the second she's...rending her garments or something.

Okay, this one's a little more focused, I guess that's...that's her putting on a brave face. Good girl.

And Anna too, with the bravery.

STOP CRYING GIRLS MOMMY WILL BE BACK SOON

Lite Week kicks off with a BEEP BEEP BEEP

First off, a correction to last week's post: I indicated that there were no previous recipes from Louisiana's Butter Cooking Secrets in the archives, but I was mistaken. I did in fact make Smothered Boneless Porkchops with Lentils a couple of years ago and joked about the austerity of the thing. So, you know. Pretty much the internal consistency you have come to expect from this beacon of journalistic integrity.

Anyway, after a week containing Mardi Gras AND Valentine's Day excesses, we probably should have spent the weekend eating kale or bran or smothered boneless porkchops with lentils or something, but no! We had a wedding weekend in San Antonio before us, so instead of quiet recovery, it was gut-check time. (Fortunately, my gut is increasingly visible and therefore easy to check on.) (Yep, there it is!)

Just look at this giant marble slab of goodness. And it was only one of the options during the cocktail hour before dinner.

I DIDN'T EVEN TAKE A PICTURE OF THE PASTA BAR.

And for dinner, steak AND shrimp AND risotto. I know I don't like shrimp, but I sometimes just appreciate its presence.

Classin' things up.

And I suppose we could have used the next day to get things back in line, but say (hypothetically) that one were attempting to soak up about a bottle of tequila, one is probably more inclined to seek out table-side guacamole from Boudro's.

Hypothetically.

But now it's time to buckle down and lighten up and let me tell you, Cookbook #21: Southern But Lite (Avis and Ward Nutrition Associates, 1989) is bringing the pain. Provenance: Mom (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM! Um, thank you for the thoughtful gift!) Previous recipes on this blog: Oh, I think you would remember.

You have no idea the gothic horrors that lurk inside.

So let me first point out that 1989 was a different time than our own. Most nutrition experts weren't so much into "Cut out processed foods" as "Better living through chemistry! Processed foods are your only hope, fatty!" Let me also point out that this book has a five star rating on Goodreads and I pretty clearly don't know what I'm talking about. I mean, one of the first pages contains signatures from multiple cardiologists and the mayor of West Monroe, LA. It is heartily endorsed!

But I started to feel a twinge of concern when I flipped through and could hardly find anything that didn't call for margarine. Or sometimes "diet margarine." Or, in one very special case...well, take a look.

That might be the most distressing combination of three words I've ever seen.

There were other ingredients I had never heard of--something called "liteline American cheese" makes several appearances, as does "oil-free Italian dressing," which I assume is just...dried herbs floating in vinegar? But I did track down a recipe for Spinach-Stuffed Chicken Rolls that contained all recognizable actual-food items and I was sold.

And then I actually read through the directions.

And the entire thing is cooked in the microwave.

Honey! Dinner's ready!

The good news is, I had so thoroughly tamped down my expectations for this meal that the fact that these turned out not only edible but not even disgusting was pretty thrilling. It tasted like chicken and spinach and radiation!

This is one of my greatest triumphs.

Verdict: I have to say, this is the first time I'm going to go ahead and commit to never cooking out of something again. However, this is also the first time that a cookbook has made me gasp in horror, and overall it was my favorite thing to read through so far. As much as I would like to photograph every single page for you because it is a jewel, seriously, I'm just going to leave you with this authentic recipe for Russian Tea.

Seems legit.

Being out of town all weekend, I barely saw the kids. I assume this is what Anna looked like the entire time.

And actually, now that I think about it, I haven't see Ivy in like a week.

I bet wherever she is, she's fighting the power.